My Summer in Seoul

“I guess.” I grabbed the baseball on my bed and tossed it to him. “That’s just life and growing up.”

“Ha, and also why every teen celeb in Hollywood seems to have a nervous breakdown in front of the camera, all the things too early for all the world to see…” He tossed the ball back.

“Yeah.” I caught it. “You know it’s different there, always has been. Actually, I take that back; it’s not different—at all, at least for us—it’s just a different sort of pressure and perfection. You mess up here, and people never forget it.”

His face suddenly darkened. “Yeah.”

I’d clearly brought up a sore subject. Pitching the ball to him again, I leaned over, grabbed my purple stuffed elephant, and squeezed it. It was one of the first fan gifts I’d received. I slept with it every night to remind myself where we started and where we were going.

It was also hella soft, not that I was going to tell that side of the story to anyone, least of all the guys.

“So…” I licked my lips. “How did it happen?”

“Huh?” He’d picked up his phone and was looking at the screen again. I had a feeling I knew who he wanted to be texting, which just made me feel even worse that we were having this conversation. “What do you mean?”

“Sex.” I coughed. “How do you go from…” I motioned with my hands. “All the other things, naturally, without it being awkward.”

Jay’s eyes widened. “You?” He jumped to his feet. “Her?” He shook his head. “Mate, no, no, that’s a horrible idea. I mean, messing around is one thing, but if anyone finds out if her uncle finds out? He’ll kill you! He’ll fucking pull your spleen from your body, then twist it around your throat and watch you choke to death.”

I frowned. “Well, that was violently descriptive.”

“I’ve had thoughts,” he said in a hollow voice. “You can’t have sex with—”

The door burst open, revealing Sookie. I shuddered at the green stem he carried. Poor kid was eating a stalk of celery. He wandered over to my bed and sat down.

We both switched to Korean.

“H-hey.” I gulped. “Man.”

He frowned. “What’s wrong with you?”

“So many things,” Jay said under his breath.

“Dude!” I said in English.

Jay laughed. “Actually, this is a perfect time to kill two birds with one stone. Hey, Sookie, can you grab that stuffed bear over there.”

Oh, no.

Sookie, clueless about our conversation, grabbed the brown bear. It had little leather pants on and a T-shirt that said SWEET. He straightened the shirt and handed it to Jay.

Jay grabbed a bear from his bed and then held them facing each other. “So, this is how it’s gonna go.”

Sookie’s eyes widened, silently asking, What the hell are you guys doing?

“Say you’re kissing.” Much to my horror, Jay made the stuffed bears kiss. Poor Sookie was going to never touch a bear again in his entire life after this day.

And neither was I.

I thought things couldn’t get worse.

And then Kai walked in. “What’s going on?”

Bear sex. That was what I wanted to say. Instead, I just whimpered in my hands while Sookie said something that translated into. “Bears kissing.”

Probably just as bad, to be honest.

“What?” Kai sat next to Jay, grabbed the bears, and then angled them differently. “It’s better this way, more access, you know.”

I frowned. “Who are you?”

Kai handed the bears back, the tips of his ears flaming bright red. “What? I was just, I mean, if you’re going to kiss, why are we using bears?”

“Great question,” I said, gritting my teeth.

“Anyway…” Jay ignored me and made the bears kiss more. In the middle of the kiss, he grabbed one bear’s… paw? Hand? Whatever… and ran it up the other bear’s little shirt. “You start slow, and when things get hot and heavy, off the shirt goes. I say you work your way down.”

“The hell sort of X-rated bear porn did I just walk in on?” Kai said under his breath. “Should he be watching?”

We all looked to Sookie, who’d stopped chewing altogether, vastly interested in Jay’s story time with props.

Sookie finally snapped out of it and shrugged, then chomped down and said, “Continue.”

“Thank you.” Jay brought his attention back to the bears. “All right, so say all clothes are off because you’ve done your job, and all that’s left is…” He paused, huffed out a sigh. Then, “Other things that lead to the big thing.”

“No.” Kai shook his head. “I disagree; she won’t have to be naked to do all of those other things; I mean, sometimes it’s easier—“

“For the sake of arguing, let’s say those things are done,” I said in a strained voice. “Both parties are ready for the big thing.”

Sookie nodded encouragingly, taking another loud bite and crunching.

“Well…” Jay shrugged. “Then you make sure you have proper protection and that your aim is… true.”