My Summer in Seoul

This.

This was more than sex.

I knew it in the way he kissed me.

The way he touched me.

Everything was more.

Could she feel the sadness?

Could she taste the goodbye?

I couldn’t hold back any longer as I clung to her like she was going to leave me—because I knew she would.

The one thing I wanted in this world was going to be taken from me.

The one thing I loved.

Gone.

I felt the tears and tried to ignore them as the sensation of being inside her, being held captive, washed over me. Could I live in this place? Exist here? Her thighs clenched; her swollen mouth found mine again.

She would always be mine.

No matter what.

Grace was mine.

She’d helped me to see that I’d been selfish.

For the first time, I was doing something for others because it was worth it because she said if there was one kid whose life was changed because of us—it would be worth the sacrifice.

I just never thought I would end up having to sacrifice her.

“I love you,” I promised against her lips as she cried out my name. “I love you,” I swore as I let everything go and claimed her. “I love you,” I said one final time, knowing that there would come a day she would hate me forever.

She had saved me.

It was my turn.

To save her.

Chapter Thirty-Five

The why…

Grace

I woke up in his arms.

Lucas pulled me closer to him. I clung to his warm body and sighed against his chest, not caring about anything even though I knew I had to get up soon.

Business as usual.

The guys had a few interviews, and this was the day they would start filming their reality show for the next four weeks.

We’d have cameras everywhere at least eight hours a day.

Ugh.

Which meant me and Lucas wouldn’t be able to sneak away like this, not anymore.

I pressed a kiss to his naked chest while he ran his fingers through my hair.

I was just falling asleep again when a soft knock sounded at my door.

I jolted awake. “Lucas? Is someone knocking?”

He turned to me, his face sleepy, his eyes unreadable. “One day…” he whispered. “One day, you’ll really be mine to keep.”

“Lucas?”

The door shoved open.

It was everything I wasn’t expecting. My nightmare. His eyes were sad, like he knew before he even opened the door.

It was Rae.

Standing there, fully clothed.

Looking ridiculously pissed and hurt.

I covered myself with the sheet.

“Get up.” He said it so calmly I almost thought he was saying something else. “The film crew will be here in a few minutes.”

Lucas was as still as a statue next to me. I wanted him to move, needed him to fight for me, to say it was fine, that we were together, or something. Anything. What would even help this situation?

“Lucas?” I shook him, not knowing what to do.

Rae clenched his teeth. “Look, I’m not going to say anything, but not only were you guys really loud last night, but the last thing Lucas needs in his career right now is to be caught in bed with a fucking intern whose only job is to drive and get coffee.”

I flinched as his words stabbed me in the heart. Weirdly enough, it was something I would have expected from Lucas, not from Rae. Never from Rae.

Lucas closed his eyes, like his face contorted in pain. “Rae, it’s not—”

“Please spare me the details of how this even happened. Just get your shit together before they start filming and come see me later when we’ll talk about your place in the group and how you’d sacrifice everything just to fuck a girl who’s leaving in less than a month.”

“You son of a bitch!” Lucas jumped to his feet. “Don’t talk about her like that!”

“Like what? Like the girl you just fucked? Is it the fuck part that gets you, or is it the fact that she doesn’t even know that you bought her a plane ticket with a departure time in the next few hours?”

I stilled. “Wh-what?”

“Yeah, surprise,” Rae sneered. “He’s going to send you back to the States because if any one of us is seen dating, it looks like we’re cheating on our fans, and someone got a picture of you two kissing last night. The internet is losing its shit over a girl with blond hair, so yeah, he slept with you, and now he’s sending you away. Still feel like you love him?” Rae slammed the door shut and then kicked it. “Why? Lucas? Why? You’ve had everything since you were sixteen and you have to take this too? You have to ruin her too?”

“That’s not fair!” Lucas shouted. “And you know it!”

“Our dad!”

“Bullshit. Your dad!” Lucas yelled. “He’s not my dad!”

I was so confused I couldn’t keep up. “What are you guys talking about?”

“He’s my half-brother,” Rae said it like he regretted it. “My dad—our dad wasn’t the best…” He shook his head. “Whatever! I swore I’d keep it a secret, but it doesn’t even matter anymore, does it?”