“This is ridiculous,” Haydn bit out in frustration.
Anika, Royce’s PR manager, shot him a sympathetic look. “It is,” she said. “The messed-up part is, it would have been totally fine if you were an omega or a beta, but because you’re an alpha, it offends your countrymen that you aren’t…” She trailed off, something like discomfort appearing in her beta scent.
Haydn scoffed, leaning back against the couch. “What? The top dog in my marriage?”
Anika winced, glancing at Royce hesitantly. He was still on the phone and seemed to be only paying them marginal attention.
Haydn tried not to stare at him too much. He was aware that he was only partly successful. His gaze seemed to gravitate back to Royce’s strong fingers tapping on the desk’s surface absentmindedly and to the unbuttoned top button of Royce’s white shirt. Haydn wanted to lick him. And kiss him all over. And suck his dick. And—
Stop that.
Friends. They were just friends. If Royce wanted more, he would have said something by now, right?
“Basically,” Anika said. “I know it’s double standards, but it is what it is.”
Running a hand over his eyes, Haydn sighed. “But what can we actually do to fix my image?”
She gave him a long, intent look. “The question is: do you want to fix it?”
Haydn’s first urge was to laugh and tell her that of course he did. But then he actually thought about it—and about his argument with Devlin. They might have made up, but Devlin hadn’t exactly said that he’d changed his opinion.
Make a choice. You can’t sit on two chairs at once.
He did have to make a choice, didn’t he? He couldn’t build his public image as a submissive enough husband for Royce, and then do a one-eighty and be all over-the-top alpha for his countrymen’s benefit. It didn’t have to be one or the other, he supposed, but his credibility would eventually be ruined if he tried to play both roles.
“I can do what you did at the press conference,” Royce cut in, proving that he’d been paying them attention after all.
Haydn frowned and looked at him. “You… you’ll bare your throat for me? In public?”
The corners of Royce’s mouth tightened, but his dark eyes were soft as he laid a hand on Haydn’s shoulder. “If you want, I will do it for you.”
A pleasant shiver went up Haydn’s spine, warmth curling in his stomach. If you want. Royce would do it if he asked. Because he cared enough for Haydn to do something that was against every alpha’s nature. The thought was heady.
Haydn smiled at him, and Royce smiled back, squeezing his shoulder. His fingers grazed against Haydn’s scent gland—over the mark that hadn’t had the chance to fade because of how often Royce reapplied it. Haydn squirmed a little, wanting more of Royce’s hand on his bare skin. Ever since the incident in the closet, he felt starved for his touch, and these casual, innocent touches weren’t enough anymore. He wanted more. He wanted Royce’s hand on his cock again. He wanted Royce’s hands and mouth on his body.
But he didn’t know how to get more. For the first time in his life, he felt insecure, wrong-footed, and unsure of his own appeal. Haydn had never had low self-esteem about his looks. He knew he was attractive—an attractive alpha. But was he appealing to another alpha? To Royce? Lately he’d started feeling self-conscious of his size and strength, of the fact that he looked nothing like an omega. Did Royce find it off-putting?
He despised these thoughts, this sudden insecurity about something as superficial as physical appearance. He hated that he felt like a teenager again, overthinking and obsessing over Royce’s every glance and touch. This was ridiculous. He was thirty years old. He’d never been this bad when he’d actually been a teenager.
But he couldn’t seem to stop. He couldn’t stop obsessing over the fact that Royce hadn’t initiated anything in days and acted as if nothing had changed. Was Royce having second thoughts about what had happened? Was he regretting it? Or maybe it really had meant very little to him—just friends being horny and getting off together, nothing more. Haydn wasn’t sure which option was worse.
Anika cleared her throat a little, making him flinch. “It would definitely help Haydn’s image in Pelugia if you’re willing to do it, but it will hurt your image here, Royce.”
Royce laughed. “You can’t be serious. My political image isn’t built on my alpha designation.”
“It wasn’t,” Anika corrected. “But back then everyone thought you were a beta. Now that people know you’re an alpha, their perceptions and expectations are different.” She shrugged apologetically. “You know I’m right. You might be the leader of the Liberal party, but you know as well as I do that some prejudices are hard to break, especially in the rural areas, where the majority of the voters live. If you do it, it will hurt your chances next year.”