Royce swore under his breath. Raking a hand through his dark hair, he looked back at Haydn, his expression resolved. “I will still do it if you want me to.”
Feeling a rush of affection, Haydn shook his head. “I appreciate the thought, but I don’t think it will be necessary.” He dropped his gaze, looking at his own hands. “I’ve tried to live up to my father’s ridiculous expectations all my life.” He gave a brittle smile. “At this point it’s obvious that I’ll never be the son he wants me to be. If my father and my people don’t like me as I am, there’s no point in continuing to try. I want to be seen for what I am rather than for what I’m not.”
Royce’s hand on his shoulder shifted slightly, the touch becoming more solid. “Haydn…”
Lifting his gaze, Haydn forced a smile as he met Royce’s concerned gaze. “It’s fine, really. It’s been coming for a while.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket and turned it on. He sighed as the screen lit up with notifications of missed calls and messages. He got to his feet. “I’ll go call him.”
“Good luck,” Royce said. “I’ll be heading out now, but call me if you need me, all right?”
Haydn nodded, and, valiantly resisting the urge to burrow himself into his husband’s arms, strode out of the room.
He headed to his bedroom, his resolve weakening with every step.
“Dammit,” he whispered as he shut the door behind himself. It was easy to be brave when he was next to Royce. Too easy. When he was with him, everything else seemed to become irrelevant, unimportant, and simple. Away from the comforting reassurance of Royce’s presence, things became more complicated. Scarier. But he was a grown man. It was time to stand up for himself and move forward, not cower in submission. He could do this. He could.
His father answered on the first ring.
Haydn tried not to flinch as his father’s hard gaze clashed with his.
“Father,” he said evenly.
“I presume your phone was just broken,” Stefan said, glaring at him. “And that you haven’t actually been avoiding your uncle.”
Haydn quashed the urge to apologize. “I was busy,” he said shortly.
A muscle worked in Stefan’s jaw. For a long moment, he didn’t say anything.
When he finally spoke, his voice was nearly a growl. “You will stop playing house with that Kadarian and return home immediately. I’ve had enough.”
Haydn pursed his lips, his stomach twisted into knots. “I can’t do that, Father. The Galactic Council representative should return any day now and—”
Stefan pinned him with a withering look. “It isn’t a request, Haydn. It’s your King’s order. You will return home. Today. My decision is final.”
Haydn opened his mouth. He wanted to say no. He did.
But nothing came out. His chest felt tight, and it seemed impossible to utter the word “no” looking at his father’s uncompromising expression.
He still tried. “Father, I think that me staying in Kadar is in Pelugia’s best interests—”
“I said my decision was final.” Stefan leaned forward, his face filling the camera frame. “Unless you are defying your King?”
Haydn moistened his lips with his tongue. “No,” he heard himself say.
Stefan nodded. “I’ll be expecting you home tonight.” He ended the call, leaving Haydn staring at his phone numbly.
Bouts of nausea and self-loathing came next, with clouds of depression hanging over.
So much for not being afraid.
Pathetic.
Why was he so fucking pathetic when it came to his father? He could never stand up to him, no matter how much he disagreed with him. It didn’t matter that rationally he knew that his father was just a very flawed, stubborn man set in his own ways. He could never stand up to him when it mattered.
Fuck. What was he going to tell Royce?
Chapter Nineteen
Royce had just returned home from work when he was accosted by his mother.
“I need you to look over the list of prospective omegas I have compiled for Aksel,” Vagrippa said.
Royce grimaced, thinking back to the scene he and Haydn had involuntarily witnessed. He really doubted his brother would be happy to hear about their mother’s plans for him.
“I’m tired, Mother,” he said shortly, walking faster toward Haydn’s room. He hadn’t answered his phone when Royce called him, and after their conversation this morning, Royce was worried. If Haydn had talked to his father and it hadn’t gone well… He wanted to see Haydn, make sure he was all right.
“Royce!” Vagrippa said sharply, jogging to catch up to him. “Don’t ignore me when I’m speaking to you.”
“I said I’m tired,” he snapped.
She flinched and stepped back, a stunned expression on her face.
It took him a moment to realize that he’d used his Voice on her.
Royce winced. He’d never resorted to using his designation against his mother and sister. Until now, apparently. He just wanted to see Haydn. He had no patience for his mother’s matrimonial plans for Aksel.