If Brogan wanted to patch things up, he would’ve found a way.
And yeah, I was the first to admit I was a stubborn creature, but how could I possibly call him myself? Especially when it seemed he totally didn’t want me to?
I raked my palms over my face as I cleaned my already tidy apartment, then headed toward the door when someone knocked. I opened it, already guarding my heart for what I knew was being delivered today.
Skye’s Christmas present.
I scooped up the box and took it to my kitchen. I leaned against the counter for a second, wondering if I should just shove it in the closet and never think about it again, but I guess ripping the band-aid off was a phrase for a reason. I opened the box, and tears filled my eyes at the set of little swimsuits and matching head caps, the infant goggles, and the towels I’d ordered to go along with the private swim lessons I’d signed us up for together. A yearlong commitment that I no longer had the right to gift.
The tears flowed freely at that realization, but I didn’t throw the box of goodies in the garbage. Instead, I cried while I wrapped them in the paper I’d picked out especially for her, sliding the membership card in with the last suit. I figured I could transfer it over from my name to someone else’s, whether that be Brogan or…
I wouldn’t think about Skye’s biological mother. It wasn’t fair of me to think about her any more than it was for me to feel the grief I felt over not seeing Skye anymore. She’d never been mine, she’d only felt like it, and that was on me, not Brogan.
After I’d placed the wrapped packages on the table by my front door, I’d resolved myself to be the bigger person and take them over to her. I could do that, right? Sometime soon, when I had my shit together.
I blew out a breath, wondering if I’d ever feel solid again, and then pulled out my cell as I fell on the couch. I was aimlessly cleaning out my inbox when I noticed an email from my student loan lender and groaned as I opened it. I’d made my payments automatic, and I knew that the last one had come out not five days ago. Had it not gone through?
Dear Ms. Andrews,
We’re refunding you your last student loan payment and have unenrolled you from autopayment. Your loans have been paid in full without penalty. Attached you will find the closed loan documents and notices. Thank you for choosing us as your lenders and please don’t hesitate to reach out with further questions.
My hands shook as I read the email four times before it sunk in. First, I thought it was a scam email and was waiting for the part where the person would ask for my credit card information to properly shut down my account. Second, I realized it wasn’t a scam, and wondered who the email was truly meant for, because there was no way in hell I’d paid off my loans. Third, I started hyperventilating as I opened the loan closure documents. And fourth, I was crying all over again because Brogan freaking Grant had paid them off in full.
The day after I’d walked out of his house.
The day after I’d accused him of only loving me because I was easy, I was around.
The day after I’d claimed he wanted to lock me down because he didn’t want to lose his nanny.
He’d gotten rid of the whole reason I’d taken the nanny position in the first place—because I’d needed money to pay off those insane loans.
I couldn’t help but sit there in shock. I knew he had plenty of money, but I’d never expected him to do this for me, nor would I ever have asked him to. And I had to wonder why he would do something so monumental without talking to me about it or even telling me at all. Was it because he felt guilty about me losing my job because of him? Because of the lines we’d crossed? Or was it because he wanted to make amends?
I hated that I didn’t have answers, and I knew there was only one real way to get them.
I needed to see him, even if it would be the last time.
19
Brogan
“Thanks again,” I told Evie as I walked her to the door.
“It’s no problem. Seriously. I’m glad you guys won.” She gave me a quick smile and headed out, closing the door behind her.
I unbuttoned the top two buttons on my shirt—I’d long since ditched the coat and tie, and headed for the kitchen in search of hydration. Flights, even short ones, always seemed to suck the water right out of me, and considering we’d played a hell of a game in D.C. and had one at home tomorrow, I definitely needed water.