24 Inches (Size Matters 2) - Page 411

I have it all.

New York Daily Journal

New York City to Governor Morality: Fuhgeddaboudit (And F*ck You!)

All the politics, scandals, and dirt...just the way you like it!

New Yorkers delivered a strong and stern rebuke yesterday in what was perhaps the most decisive show of public opinion in the history of the state.

Assembling at a spontaneous demonstration in Times Square outside the headquarters of Kinky Amy’s, New Yorkers vented their frustration at a faraway statehouse attempting to legislate what should and should not be allowed in people’s lives.

Prior to the demonstration, the area was quickly becoming a flash point between New York State National Guard soldiers, who were attempting to execute a warrant to close and seize the assets of Kinky Amy’s versus the NYPD who had vowed to stand next to their Mayor and prevent this from happening.

Witnesses who were present at the scene prior to the arrival of the media describe a hair trigger scene in which the Governor was pushing for an escalation that would have surely resulted in the death of innocent people.

However, it appears that New York City’s own bad boy Mayor had a different plan in motion, summoning the press at the last minute to witness the standoff and lay the stakes out on the table.

At heart - a question of whether freedom should be curtailed at

home by the people, or by leaders that live far away.

But the Mayor also revealed a deep and dark secret about the Governor that instantly swayed public opinion back in his favor.

So far in fact that the Governor has today announced that she is pulling out of the race for Senator and officially resigning from office at the end of the week.

But even her hasty resignation has not stopped political commentators from weighing in whether the Governor has run afoul of violating ethics laws that prevent personal vendettas from being acted out using state resources.

Judge McGill, the jurist who signed off on the court order to close Kinky Amy’s has released a statement whereby he lists a pattern of intimidation, extortion and abuse by the Governor towards him in order to preserve the knowledge f a secret child that he had fathered 16 yeas ago.

Indeed, many former aides, allies, and enemies have been coming-out of the woodwork in the last 24 hours to the media - recounting a story of a politician who wielded her power and influence to get her way and enrich herself at the expense of the public.

Prosecutors have not ruled out a formal investigation and this morning the FBI and Justice Department both announced separate investigations into the administration of Governor Kate Meelios.

But regardless of what these months long investigations will turn up, it is safe to say that Governor Meelios has effectively ended her career. She went up against the best New York City had to offer - and she lost.

It remains to be seen what the city’s favorite son does next. But rest assured, we’ll be watching. So you can keep reading.

Amy

Epilogue

“Oh God, I think I’m going to pass out,” I hiss, grabbing Parker’s hand so tightly that I might crush it.

“Take a deep breath, Amy,” he says, his eyes wide and a fearful expression on his face. Taking a deep breath, he picks me up from the bed I’m lying on and crosses the bedroom, kicking the door open with the tip of his shoe. “Get me the fuckin’ helicopter!” He shouts from the top of the stairs, and one security guard raises his eyes toward us, his mouth hanging open.

“Right away, sir,” he snaps into attention, picking up his radio from his belt and talking into it. “Chopper’s on the way, sir,” he tells us as Parker hurries down the stairs and leaves the mansion, taking me out onto the courtyard.

“What’s going on, sir?” The rest of his security detail rushes over to meet us, all of them looking around as if the mansion was about to be swarmed by gun-toting terrorists.

“I’m having a fucking baby, that’s what’s going on,” I cry out in pain, mashing my teeth together, and trying hard not to scream.

That’s right, after nine months of my belly growing at an alarming pace, I’m finally ready to give birth. Which, let me tell you, feels as painful as I’ve imagined it’d be. Or worse.

“Oh, fuck, where’s the fucking helicopter?” I cry out, both my hands on my overgrown belly. I’m cursing like a sailor now, but I don’t care. Pain numbs everything, and that includes all norms of polite society.

The next few minutes seem to take an eternity, and only when my hair starts being whipped back by the helicopter’s blades do I finally allow myself to relax. I’m hauled inside on a stretcher, and Parker follows after me half-anxious, half-excited. It’s not everyday that your wife gives birth, right?

Yes, I said it—wife. Parker proposed a few days after our showdown with my mother, and one month after that I was walking down the aisle in a wedding gown. Just like in a fairy tale. One of these with a saccharine happy ending. But that’s exactly how I like my happy endings, so don’t judge.

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