I don’t want to think about Derek.
But I can’t help it. I’m thinking about Derek.
I go to the closet and think about what to wear. Maybe I should just walk downstairs naked.
Then, I realize…I’ve practically already decided to try and meet him in the foyer.
That’s what this whole beauty routine was all about.
But what exactly am I going to do? He won’t notice me. He’ll be running, two steps at a time, his focus on his phone.
If I go down naked, maybe I’ll get a glance. Or maybe not.
But my bod is all ready for action now. It needs a fine garment to set it off. I rifle through all my clothes, not sure what to pick.
Grey dress with pleated skirt? Gold silk sheath? White peasant dress?
With a little gasp, I pull out an old beauty from the back of the rack. It’s a short shirt dress that buttons up the front.
Almost the same kind I imagine Derek’s future wife would wear. Except it’s not pastel; it’s black with bright red poppies.
I slip into it and button up the front. I like feeling naked under it, knowing only one small, fragile line of buttons stands between me and total nudity.
The bell rings, and I hurry to answer it.
It’s my hamper arriving. The delivery boy is too young to interest me, even though he looks me over appreciatively. Maybe even expectantly.
Who knows what tasty bits delivery boys get into? But I’m not even slightly enticed.
Some other day, punk. I’m not in the mood to break a greenhorn today.
I want a man. A real man. One who’s big in every way and knows how to fuck.
I pour some champagne and bite into a strawberry. I demolish half the box of fine chocolates with three more glasses in between eating strawberries.
Lucky the hamper came with two bottles of Moet. It seems one’s not enough.
The roses are beautiful. Dark and red. The exquisite perfume only enhances the feeling that there’s something special about today.
Today’s the day. But for what?
With shock, I realize it’s getting dark. Time has been flying by while I stuffed my face and got drunk.
If I’m going to try to meet Derek, I have to go now. I’ve got just enough champagne in me to make me bold and bubbly without being stupid.
As I go, I grab my magazine. The one with the black-and-white shoot.
Let’s see if he can resist me in the flesh, presented with my finest angles. Let’s find out how much of a man he really is.
I slip into high-heeled sandals and head downstairs. I want to be just inside the foyer, hiding in the shadows of the stairs.
That way, I can completely take him by surprise. It’s only when you surprise people that you get the honest answers.
Four
Derek
Today was fucked, and it could not have been salvaged.