Like...uhmm...no!
I refuse to compromise on this point! I'll compromise on so much! But not on this!
And the way he was looking at me? Like I was being unfair. Sorry I'm not an equal opportunity nookie giver ya know? Like, I have to sorta be turned on. And women's panties, just not doing it for me right now.
Anyways, Freeway texted me once during the weekend. He's all like I can't believe you're being so judgmental. What did it matter what kind of underwear I was wearing on the freeway? Yeah, if I saw a muscled up guy coming up to me on the freeway in a pair of Victoria Secret Very Sexy Lace Thong you can bet I would have put the pedal to the medal and got the F out of there. Just sayin'.
So yesterday I went to go see my friend. We got a bakers dozen of oysters and a bottle of pinot at Hog Island Oyster Company and she told me everything she knows about Dodgeball and I told her about Freeway. You're gonna love this when you hear about Dodgeball too.
Dunno what to do about Freeway. I mean WineBar is clingy and possessive, but at least he wears boxer briefs. Which is apparently the new standard by which I judge men - do they wear appropriate underwear.
Anyways, I'll tell you later what my friend, OysterGirl, and I spoke about. It'll blow your mind.
Hugs and Kisses and Lots of Love,
Alexis Angel
Questions Answered
You need to hear what I found out about Dodgeball...
So my good friend and frenemy that I so love (we used to be sorority sisters) told me so much about Dodgeball, but I'll tell you tomorrow bc I'm heading out but I just wanted to share some of the feedback that I got from you guys as you read the Freeway thong whatever the hell you call it. Incident? Episode?
Anne writes: "The episode "Whale of a Tale" of The New Adventures of Old Christine has TWO guys wearing mongs -- man-thongs. And yes, the women are turned off by this"
Well it's a good thing to know that I'm not the only one!
Pam said, "Oh, I so have to respond to what Freeway wore. Femine undies! Do that on your own time buddy! Not on mine. Plus having brothers and also being married for the third time I've done my share of men's laundry. Men Do Not clean themselves good. If ya know what I mean. So if he's wearing a thong. I'm not going there. Yuck!! Plus just cause he's got a great dick ain't no reason to let all the other things wrong go by the wayside. I would give up on that man. Not worth it. Get rid of him while you got the chance. Sorry to hear that he didn't work out."
Chasity asked, "So, panties aside :) how was the package? I can't imagine the lace even holding it in!"
No, girlfriend. Lace does a poor job of covering up dick. And he had a large dick - that's for damn sure. But homeboy has got to figure out some different underoos to wear for me to lay my hands (or mouth) on it...
Aww thank you so much girlfriend! <3 <3 Yeah, I think Freeway is done for now.
Virginia said, "Ugh- a woman's thong?!?! That's just wrong and not manly. Good for you- boxer briefs are so sexy on a man. I would forget freeway guy! There are more fish in the sea?? and besides you have book boyfriends to keep you company!! ??"
Well that's true. In fact, that's what I'm curling up with once I get home tonight. Book boyfriend.
Hugs and Kisses and Lots of Love,
Alexis Angel
Where They Go?
So I went from so many options, to like, not too many when it comes to dating...
Good morning my lovely angels (or afternoon if you’re Eastern Coast inclined).
So Freeway is out. I put a frowny face next to his name on the Contacts screen. Dodgeball still hasn’t called, despite being an amazing sounding guy. And WineBar is still at it – the only one that texts me without fail.
So like Sunday I sat down for oysters and wine with my BFF and she actually told me a bunch of stuff about Dodgeball, because she’s been going to that event – Midnight Dodgeball for years.
So Dodgeball graduated from college and went to work at Facebook. He eventually left. He started his own app. He sold that app a while back (that’s crazy!). He lives in Pacific Heights, which is pretty ritzy. He’s never been married or had kids, which is amazing.
But he’s been with a lot of girls. He’s been with my friend too. They dated for like a few weeks back last year but mutually decided to move on. Their reasoning? They apparently weren’t done having sex with other people. I mean, after Freeway, someone like Dodgeball likes me I’m done having sex with the entire human race to focus on this guy, ya know?
So, I mean, this guy was supposed to call me after the weekend. Monday has already come and past. If he doesn’t call me by 6 pm PST today, I’m calling WineBar to come and take me for a ride after he gets off work. I’ll need some dick to get my mind off of lace thongs on men and perfect sounding dudes that don’t call.