Ian smiles. Once again, I think about how I won’t see him for who knows how long after today. He throws our trash onto the floor, carefully sets his jersey on the floor as well, and then pulls me into his arms as we lie down again.
“I’m going to miss you,” he says.
“I already miss you.”
That makes him laugh. “I was going to say that, but didn’t think it would make sense.”
“It does.” I sigh and decide we should pick another topic. “Have you picked out a college?”
“Yeah. I actually had quite a few scholarship offers.”
“That’s great. How did you decide?”
“I went with the one with the best hockey program.”
Of course. “When do you think we’ll see each other again?” I whisper. I can’t stop thinking about it. Going a year didn’t seem all that hard, but now that I’ve spent even more time with him, going another year before I see him sounds horrible.
Ian sighs. “I don’t know, Sydney. Something will work out.”
“Will you go to college and forget about me?”
He interlocks our fingers and wiggles our hands, which makes my bracelet shift on my wrist. “That’s a ridiculous question considering the present I just gave you and what it means.”
Well, that makes me feel bad for asking, but I’m worried.
“Look at me, gorgeous.” I lift my head as requested. “You’re my best friend, and I don’t ever want to lose you. High school, college, or a career won’t change that.”
That’s exactly what I wanted him to tell me. Hearing it catapults me forward to kiss him. See? It’s almost always me who starts it. Things are simple at first. We’re kissing. But you can never just kiss Ian Rhett. He’s magnetic, a fantastic kisser, and he makes you crave more. Any touch from him weakens me. His hand travels up my back, pulling me into him. I move even closer to deepen the kiss.
When Ian pulls away slightly, I’m disappointed.
“Be my first,” he whispers.
My mouth parts and I stare into those green eyes. Never did I think there would be a conversation. I figured it would either happen or it wouldn’t, but I didn’t think we would talk before it did or didn’t happen.
“If you’re ready and you want to be,” he adds.
“Now?” I dumbly ask.
“Now would be fucking awesome, but it can be whenever it is we see each other again, if you’re ready then.”
“You’d wait?”
“That’s what I said.”
Wow. I can’t believe that. Especially since he’ll be going to college next year. What if we don’t see each other before then? He’ll be surrounded by college girls. Who can resist that? Plus, according to Bruce’s girlfriend, he’s already been tempted by girls here. But Ian is saying he wants his first time to be with me, even if he has to wait for me to be ready.
I think my mind and heart just exploded.
My choices are to lose my virginity today or wait until whenever it is we’ll see each other again. I do believe that we will find a way to see one another some day in the future, but I don’t know how soon or how far away that will be. Ian is calmly watching me as I sort all of this out in my head. Before this moment, I wasn’t sure if I was ready, but now?
I can’t imagine saying no.
“Be my first,” I echo what he said. “Today,” I add.
The first thing Ian does is kiss me quickly and then pull away to remove his shirt. My breathing shallows. I’ve never seen this much of him. Oh, my goodness. I’m about to see much more, too. Ian reaches into his nightstand and I spot a box of condoms. My eyes widen. He has an entire box of condo
ms waiting in his nightstand? Which is good because I hadn’t even thought about protection and I’m not on birth control because I haven’t had that conversation with my mom yet. But an entire box?