Whatever It Takes (Bold As Love 3)

Hearing that Jake is scared of losing me to Kyle is crazy. Sure, Kyle has an awesome personality and is cute, but he’s nothing compared to Jake. I scoot over to rest my head against Jake’s chest. Finally I feel at home as he wraps an arm around me, resting his hand on my hip.

“To me, accepting this means that I have to push the baby out of my mind. That is so unbelievably hard when I have to watch so many mothers come into Coffee Beans. I truly do want to talk to you about this Jake. But we’re both so busy. I hardly see you anymore much less have the time to really talk to you. Kyle says I have to take it day by day, but that’s tough. Everyday it’s as if life’s worst traits keep coming at me. I just want it to get better,” I finish quietly as I change my sitting position to bury my face in the crook of Jake’s neck.

“Sweetness,” Jake speaks and I can tell that he's trying to keep his calm. “I'm sorry, but that's bullshit. Instead going to see Kyle, you should have come to see me. Don't use us being busy as an excuse. Make time to talk to me. You could wait up for me and then we’d talk when I get home. Instead, you go to sleep.”

“I'm tired, Jake,” I begin but Jake cuts me off.

“Stop making excuses!” he grits through his teeth. “Listen to what I have to say just once. Not Mike. Not Kyle. No one. Me. I want you to listen to me. Talk to me. As for when I see a mother with her baby, instead of thinking about our loss I think about how grateful I am that the mother isn’t experiencing what you are over her baby. Anytime something negative creeps its way into my mind, I try to really believe that there is some reason we aren’t parents right now. It’ll happen one day, Sweetness. This time in our life just wasn’t the right time is all.”

Those words are hard to hear when all I want is my baby. Simply because it was the only creation in the entire universe that was a piece of Jake and me. The miscarriage has me scared about the possibility of future pregnancies. What if that baby could be the only creation of the two of us?

I close my eyes and take in the scent of Jake. He smells like ivory soap and his body’s natural scent. I love that I can tell when he has showered. No time to get lost in that. Jake isn’t finished.

“All I want from you Sweetness is to know that you aren’t going to run away from this anymore. Face it head on and take control. I know this is different than what I go through, so you have to talk to me about what you are thinking and feeling. Mind reading is not one of my many incredible traits.”

The smile on my lips cannot be suppressed. It seems it is time for me to fess up. Maybe this is the time to share with Jake the items I take out every now and then.

No.

The thought echoes and bounces around my head. That is something I can’t and won’t do just yet. Taking a deep br

eath, I share more with Jake. Everything comes out too quickly and tears overflow. I tell him how terrified I am of getting pregnant and losing another baby. To make him understand why I am scared and sad over this tragedy, I explain to him about how the baby was the only being that was a combination of us both. Jake wraps both arms around me and kisses the crown of my head.

“Sweetness, think about the sunrise we watched that day at the cabin. You said that no matter what, we were worth fighting for. You have to fight. You need to remember that we are going to make the best of the situation together. Don’t forget that you promised you wouldn’t run away from me. We promised each other that we would work through this together. Keep that in mind Sweetness.”

“I will.”

I slip out of his arms to crawl under the covers. Scooting over to lay against his warm body, my own heats up as it absorbs his body heat. With my hand flat, I move it across his torso. There were hills and dips as his muscles tense and move as he breathes. His skin is hot and smooth and I take in the feel of his muscled arm under my neck. I could lay here forever. Looking up at Jake, I smile slowly.

His lips form that perfect, slightly crooked smile that I missed so much. My hand travel upwards to find those full lips. As light as a feather, I move my forefinger over his bottom lip then Travel over his top. My fingers have a mind of their own as they move dangerously slow along his jaw line. I am turned on by the stubble that scratches my fingertips. My eyes never leave Jake’s green eyes which have become both aroused and alert.

I lean against him and place a kiss upon his lips. Jake wastes no time grasping the back of my neck and deepening the kiss. I savor the taste of Jake's mouth. The kiss is slow yet urgent. A stray thought reminds me that it's been at least two days since Jake's hands roamed my body.

We are already awake. Why waste this opportunity? I moved over Jake to straddle him. Strong hands lift my shirt up and over my head. Leaning down, I continue to kiss Jake. My lips move to his jaw then down his neck. My tongue forces its way out of my mouth and scorches his skin. Vaguely, I'm aware of Jake unclasping my bra.

I sit up and toss it on the floor. Before I can return to my assault, Jake grabs me by the hips and lays me down. As he towers over me, my body lights up with excitement. More than ever, I am ready for the explosion. Jake bends towards me and tenderly places a kiss on each eyelid. Immediately, I know how he is going to treat me tonight.

He wants to take his sweet time and torture me with smoldering pleasure. I tilt my head to the right to grant him access to my neck as his lips move over my jaw. When his tongue brushes over my skin in the spot below my ear, heat sears through me. I moan. A laugh rocks Jake's body but somehow doesn't manage to break his work in progress. My hands yearn to glide across Jake's fiery skin, but they are held firmly in place at the wrists on each side of my head.

That is another thing that he does. He renders me powerless so he can literally have his way with me. It was hard to suppress my urges. In an effort to get closer to him, I arch my back. From my breasts down to my stomach, I'm pressed against Jake's bare body. The flow of body heat feels delicious and I want nothing more than to melt into him. Jake's lips move down my neck and graze my collar bone. This was going to be a long, wonderful night.

***

Around lunch, I bump into Kyle in the courtyard. I am more than relieved to see him. We are meeting the girls at a restaurant a few blocks away for lunch. Kyle offers to drive me so we don’t need to take more than one car.

“Hey Em. Ready?”

“Absolutely.”

Minutes later, we are sitting at the table with the girls who are talking rapidly about some guy that apparently stood Hannah up.

“We should go slash his tires,” Abella says with too much excitement.

“We should stay out of it,” Jess declares.

“Have you talked to him? Something may have come up,” Kyle suggests.

“Don’t be so optimistic Kyle,” Abella says with a wave of her hand.