“Thanks.”
I tell him where Jackson’s school is, where the kindergarteners stand, but that maybe he should park and go get Jackson. Elias could always tell one of the many teachers who he’s picking up, but I’d feel better if he did it my way. He leaves to p
ick Jackson up before I can change my mind about staying behind.
If Elias wants to be friends now, then I need to learn how to do a few things. Like trust him more. Trust myself more. Figure out how to stop panicking because Jackson’s and my world is expanding. That’s a good thing, and I need to remember that. Well, it may not be because things could go wrong and we could get hurt, but there’s only one way to find out.
But what am I going to do about Henry?
I used to wonder what it would be like to have him in our lives, but it was difficult to picture. How could the Henry I loved in high school be the same person who would walk away from me and our baby? Anytime I pictured those scenarios, I saw the Henry who walked away, not the Henry I fell in love with. The fact that he’s here, five years later, and seemingly wants something to do with Jackson blows my mind.
What changed his mind? How are his parents reacting? They were as unhappy as mine when they found out, and I’m certain they played a part in Henry acting as if I didn’t exist anymore. Does Henry really plan to stay here in North Carolina, doing whatever it is he does now, so he can be in Jackson’s life? How will all of this work?
How the fuck am I going to tell Jackson about Henry? I never told him he didn’t have a father, but I didn’t exactly tell him he had one either. It’s been the two of us and Jackson hasn’t asked why he doesn’t have a dad around, so I’ve been able to avoid that topic. Until now. Thanks, Henry. And poor Jackson is so leery and shy around new people, he may not take this well at all. Hell, I’m not. He probably gets this crap from me.
My world has been closed off for so long. Things have been terrifying at times while I struggled to make things work. And now? Now, I have to open up. Be willing to trust others. Climb over the walls I built myself. I have to do it for Jackson. If Henry is serious and can be a good father to him, then I can’t be the one to stand in the way of that.
But I’m still not sure where my hunky, handsome boss fits into this. Maybe we shouldn’t be friends. There needs to be a clearly defined line because I can’t lose this job, especially now that Henry is back in the picture. I’m already failing at this whole trust others, opening up, and letting go of my fears thing.
Bree giggles. “Oh, Bree,” I say as she looks up at me. We’ve been walking laps around the couch together ever since she woke up. She loves to walk, though she hasn’t quite conquered it on her own yet. “What am I going to do?”
When Jackson sees me walking toward him, he frowns. That’s not exactly the reaction I’m hoping for.
“Hey, J-man. I get to pick you up from school today.” I nod to one of the teachers standing around and look back down at Jackson.
“Where’s my momma?”
“At home with Bree.”
“Why didn’t she come? She always picks me up from school.” Jackson peers around the other kids to look at the line of cars. “Are you sure she’s not coming?”
Raelynn wasn’t kidding. You can’t just throw his world upside down, and I think that’s what I’m doing right now. He’s like Raelynn. He’s so used to it being the two of them that it freaks him out when something changes.
“She’s not, but only because I want to take you somewhere. It’s a surprise,” I say, hoping it’ll entice him. I hold out my hand, which he takes. Thankfully. One of the teachers eyeballs me like I’m about to kidnap him in front of everyone.
“A surprise?” he questions. “Does Momma know? She said you could?”
“Of course.”
“But why isn’t she here too?” Jackson sounds seriously worried now, and that worries me. I get him into the booster seat I bought for him earlier today, so I could have one in my car.
“We’re having a guys afternoon. Here.” I pull my phone out and dial Raelynn. “Why don’t you talk to your mom and see for yourself while I drive?”
He takes the phone and holds it to his ear, but when Raelynn doesn’t answer, Jackson panics. “She didn’t answer! If someone at school calls my momma, she always answers.”
“She’s probably playing with Bree or changing a dirty diaper. Try again.” I tell him where to push and he calls until she answers, three calls later.
“Why didn’t you pick me up from school?” he demands when she answers. She most likely explains what I told him and I hear him ask, “Why didn’t you answer your phone?” His bossiness makes me smile, though I hate the little guy was worried. “Okay,” he says. Then, he grumbles, “Yeah, you can tell her I said hey.” Just like that, he’s back to being totally fine. “Do you know what the surprise is?”
He talks to Raelynn for a few more minutes before they hang up. Seeing him panic a little just because I picked him up instead of his mom does make me worry about how he’ll react with a new person entering his life on a possibly permanent basis. He seemed to transition okay to living with me, but maybe that was because he recognized me from when we visited the school and he’s been curious about hockey.
“What’s this place?” Jackson asks me as I pull into a parking space.
I put the car in park and twist to look at him. “How would you like to do a little skating with me today?”
His eyes widen to the size of saucers. “Like, on ice? Like you do? I can do that? Momma said I could?” The hope in his voice is unbelievable. He wants this so badly.
“Yep.”