“Okay. Tomorrow then.”
Not if I have anything to say about it.
Tomorrow comes and after I drop Jackson off at school, I find myself driving to Deanna’s quilt shop. All I’ve been able to think about while avoiding Elias and giving him the silent treatment as much as possible is my last relationship. Not only did it end, but it ended so terribly that I eventually left the state to get away from him and everyone else there. I can’t run in this situation. Not only is North Carolina now Jackson’s home, but Henry is here, Jackson’s friends are here, and despite how hard it would be to live in the same house as Elias, I couldn’t leave him hanging and without a nanny in the middle of the season.
Getting over Henry was hard. Picking up those pieces while my parents disowned me, while my body changed as a baby grew inside of me, it was incredibly difficult to do. My hurt transformed into anger, where it lived a healthy life in the back of my mind in the event Henry ever did show up one day.
And Elias has seen my reactions to Henry. Why in the world would he ever think there would be any positive feelings left over? That I would want to be a family with Henry? Maybe we don’t know each other that well after all. Maybe we’re rushing into things. Maybe we shouldn’t have started anything at all.
I don’t have to think about things for a bit because it’s time to see Deanna. She smiles when I walk in with Bree on my hip.
“Hey! What are you doing here?” She walks around the counter to hug me and steal Bree away.
“We came to visit.”
“I’m honored,” she says with a smile. She and Bree take baby steps around the store as Deanna allows Bree to walk. “Is everything okay, Raelynn?” Deanna asks, cutting a look at me as she and Bree walk around the corner of a table and head toward me.
I shrug. Nothing is okay. Eve
rything is falling apart.
“Detour, little lady.” Deanna takes Bree’s hands and leads her away from the front. “Come on. We’ll go to my office where we can talk.” I follow after her. She soon scoops Bree up to hold her and sits with her in her lap once she sits in the chair behind her desk. She takes a quick picture of them on her phone and appears to send off a message, probably to Brayden. The moment I sit in the chair across from her, she asks, “What’s going on?”
I love that she asks and leaves it at that. There aren’t any follow-up questions about whether it’s Elias and me or Henry or Jackson. She simply asks and doesn’t try to fill in the very big blanks at this point. With a sigh, I tell her everything that’s happened, from the break-in to Elias coming home to me avoiding him right this very second and feeling like we never should’ve started dating in the first place.
“First, what you need to understand is that men are idiots,” she says, causing me to laugh. “We don’t understand them just as much as they don’t understand us. But you aren’t going to figure it out by avoiding him every second you get, Raelynn. Don’t make that mistake.”
“I know. It’s just...” My voice trails off as I glance down where my hands rest in my lap.
“What?” Deanna pushes softly.
“I liked my life before. It wasn’t easy, but I had Jackson and he was all I needed. I was happy.” I tilt my head back and blink, emotions welling and rolling around inside of me like a tidal wave at the thought of things potentially changing. Of everything I’ve been thinking about coming true. “And now, I really like my life and I’m even happier. I’m terrified Elias wants to change that. I don’t want to lose him.”
“You won’t know unless you talk to him and figure out why Henry all of a sudden concerns him.”
“I know.” That’s the unfortunate part. I have to talk to him and give him the opportunity to break my heart. But it’s also the same opportunity to explain things and keep us together.
“Secondly,” Deanna says, apparently not done with her lecture, “the world isn’t ending, Raelynn. I don’t know your past, I do know this is your first relationship in a long time, but just because this is a bump in the road doesn’t mean it’ll crash and total the car. This is something that y’all can overcome if you want to make it work.”
“You’re right.”
She gives me a small smile. “So, maybe you should head home soon?” She glances down at Bree. “After I’ve had plenty of baby time, I mean.”
So, we hang out in her office some. We do spend time out front as well. Around lunch, I finally head back home. Elias isn’t there, but he could have meetings or whatnot to do. Our morning adventures must tire Bree out because after she gets some food in her, she dozes off. But any time I lay her in her crib, she wakes up and whines. To fix this, I let her rest against my chest, her head on my shoulder, while I sit at the table with my laptop in front of me. I can type while she sleeps.
When Elias walks in the door, I quickly close my laptop, not wanting him to see what’s on it. I must look like he caught me because he asks, “What are you doing?”
I don’t want to tell him the truth, not right now at least. I hesitate as I think of a good answer and then it hits me. “Schoolwork.”
His eyes flick to the otherwise empty table. “Where are your textbooks?”
“Oh, um, well, I don’t need them yet.”
He doesn’t believe me. That much is clear. Elias lets it slide, though. “We need to talk and get this shit over with.”
“Oh, you mean the shit you started?”
His expression hardens. “This started when I saw you hugging Henry like your life depended on it.”