What?
“The night of the break-in,” he adds.
“You’re kidding me. You’re jealous I leaned on the only person around when I was terrified?”
“I’m not jealous,” he snaps.
“Certainly sounds like it,” I retort as I stand. “And of someone I only tolerate because he’s my son’s father. You should know better, Elias.”
“How?” He throws his arms out. “You barely let me in, Raelynn. How am I supposed to know you would never consider getting back with Henry?”
How could he not know, even without me verbally saying so? I shake my head and walk away to put a still-sleeping Bree in her crib. I don’t want to argue with her in my arms.
My gaze returns to her laptop over and over. She closed that thing so fast when I walked in. Is she hiding something again? Why? Why must the women in my life torture me by being secretive? I can’t handle it now. Not after Bree’s mom, Vicky. My body seems to have a mind of its own as I move over to where Raelynn was just sitting. I hesitate for a few seconds, wait for my gut to tell me what to do, and then I open her laptop.
It’s a document, the cursor blinking and waiting for something else to be typed. I scroll the long way to the top. That’s when confusion sets in. The top of the document simply starts with Chapter One. I can’t help but continue down the path I’ve set myself on and begin reading.
Holy shit.
She’s writing a book.
I’m so consumed in reading that I don’t hear Raelynn walk down the stairs and back into the room.
“What are you doing?” she accuses, a tremble in her voice.
I stand and take a step away from the laptop as if that removes any contact I had with it. “You were acting weird.” I wince at the lamest possible thing I could’ve possibly said, and it actually came out of my mouth. The only thing I should have said is that I shouldn’t have done what I did, even though I knew that before I did it.
Raelynn stalks over to her laptop, closes it, and holds it against her chest. “And that gives you the right to snoop through my things? What is wrong with you? That is personal, Elias. If it was something I was ready to share, you would know about it. I... I can’t believe you did that. I need to go.”
I grab her elbow loosely enough that she can still walk away if she wants, but enough that it stops her from walking away. “Wait a second. You can’t keep leaving, Raelynn.”
She lifts her chin and stares at me. “Watch me.” She doesn’t move yet, though.
“Why wouldn’t you tell me you write?”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes,” I answer simply.
“I am not used to this, Elias!” she yells, waving between the two of us. “That much should be crystal fucking clear by now! I’m trying here, but that doesn’t mean I’m cracking my chest open for you to see what’s inside. It takes time for us to get to a point where you can see this.” She waves her laptop around. “You’re acting like this isn’t a huge deal, what you just did. You invaded my privacy!”
“I know, and I’m sorry. It’s just with the way things were with Bree’s mom—”
“I’m not her!” she shouts.
“And I’m not Henry! You do the same thing to me, Raelynn.” She frowns, but I push forward. “Don’t tell me you don’t compare your past to your present. That you don’t worry about mistakes repeating themselves. For fuck’s sake, that’s not what any of this is about.”
“You’re right. It’s not,” she says with all the calmness she can muster. “It’s about you opening my laptop and reading something you had no right to read.” Raelynn sighs. “I have to pick up Jackson.” She turns and walks out before I can think of something to say to stop her.
Why would she be writing a book? And why would she keep something like that to herself? How long has she been writing? I have so many questions and no answers. She would likely snap my head off if I attempt to ask her anytime soon, considering this is knowledge I shouldn’t even have right now.
Part of me can’t believe I looked, while the other half isn’t that surprised at all. Regardless, I know I shouldn’t have done it. That’s what makes all of this worse. I knew before I opened the laptop, but it was like I couldn’t help myself. Now what are we going to do? Why did I have to knock down what trust we mana
ged to build?
I go upstairs to sit in Bree’s room. It’s the only place in the whole house that will give me comfort. I pick her up and hold her while she sleeps, gently rocking back and forth in the recliner.
“What am I going to do, princess?” I whisper. “Daddy made a big mistake.” I sigh. I almost wish she’d left her laptop, so I could’ve kept reading. What I had read so far seemed pretty good. Bree’s arms jerk in her sleep and she grabs my thumb as she settles. She looks so peaceful and more perfect as she sleeps. Her eyelashes fan over the tops of her cheeks. Her lips purse.