We both let out a contented sigh at the same time.
“What’s your schedule looking like? I figured I could fly home next time you have to fly out,” Julie says, resting her head on my shoulder.
“Game tomorrow night and we’re flying out afterward because we have a game Saturday. So, you can leave Saturday, or wait a few more days because you’ll basic
ally have the whole week to do what you need to do.”
“Okay. I’ll look at flights tomorrow.” She lifts her head and looks at me. “Have you dated anyone lately?”
I laugh. “When would I have time between panic attacks, hockey, my annoying brother, and you?” I touch the tip of her nose with that last part and smile. “I did go on a date for EJ not too long ago, but she’s now his girlfriend.”
“What? How’d that happen?”
“He was just trying to stay away from her because she was his nanny.”
Julie nods in understanding. We’re quiet for a bit, allowing the hot water to relax us, but then she says, “This may ruin everything, but I have to ask a question.”
My hand moves underneath the water to gently grab her knee. “You can ask me anything.”
“Have… Have you ever thought…” She turns toward me, her eyes crinkled with concern. Her mouth opens and closes. Before I can encourage her to ask me, she leans forward to place her lips upon mine.
Holy shit.
I grab her neck to hold her in place, kissing her like I’ve always dreamed of kissing her. Our mouths seem to be glued together as our tongues struggle for dominance. She straddles my lap, a strangled moan rocking through her. Just as my fingers dig into her neck, she’s gone. My eyes pop open. We’re both heavily breathing, but Julie has a wild look about her.
“I’m sorry. I wondered if you ever thought about that, about us. I shouldn’t have.” Her head shakes constantly as if she shouldn’t have done what she just did. “Please tell me I didn’t ruin what we have.”
I hold my hand out. “C’mere.” I can’t believe this is actually happening. Did she seriously just kiss me? With a shaky hand, Julie places hers in mine and I bring her back next to me. “You haven’t ruined anything. To answer your question, what if I say yes?”
Her eyes widen. “Are you saying yes?”
Instead of answering, I kiss her again, this time softer and slower. “Is that a good enough answer?” I ask.
“No.”
I laugh.
“I’ve been thinking about this moment for years, Collin. I didn’t think it would ever happen and I don’t want to ruin our friendship, but I realized I can’t live here without seeing if you feel the same way.”
“I do.” My voice seems to trail off.
“There’s a but?” she asks incredulously.
“There are only two reasons I’ve never made a move on you: you’re one of my closest friends and you used to date my brother.”
Julie frowns. “Your brother has nothing to do with this, Collin. He wouldn’t care. That never should’ve happened anyway.”
“I think it would matter,” I disagree.
“I know you know your brother in ways I don’t, but I know him in ways you don’t, and trust me; he won’t care. If anything, he’ll think you deserve better,” she finishes bitterly.
Better than Julie? I don’t think a woman exists who is better than her. She’s been with me through a lot of shit and she doesn’t shy away when I’m going through my hard times. My brother can’t always do that.
Julie grabs my hand, holding it hostage between both of hers. “What do you want to do, Collin? Date or forget this ever happened?” I open my mouth, but she places a finger over my lips before I can give her my answer. “If it’s the first answer, you should know that I still don’t want Cal to know I’m here. Not until we have to tell him.”
My chest deflates. I don’t understand why she has to be a secret. “Why?” I ask.
“That’s a topic for another day.”