“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay.” I hate feeling helpless when it comes to his anxiety. I never know how to help and not make it worse, or make sure I don’t do something where he feels weak. But he looks like he needs a hug, so hopefully, he’s okay with me shifting to lie on my side and throwing an arm around him in an one-armed hug. He’s tense for a good moment, but then he relaxes and hugs me back with a deep breath.
“This hasn’t been a warm welcome for you.”
“I can’t expect you to always get it right.”
He laughs. “I’m glad you’re here, Jules.”
“There’s no other place I’d rather be,” I whisper. We enjoy some peace and quiet before I disturb it. “You’re worse since the last time we talked.”
“Don’t worry. We’re trying a change in medication.”
“How are you feeling so far?”
“Like shit.”
Despite the seriousness of the situation, I laugh a little. That’s Collin’s typical response when I ask after he’s had to change his medication. “Does your brother know?”
“No,” Collin answers quickly. “He worries about me enough. He doesn’t need to know about this. Not to mention, he keeps pissing me off and…I don’t know. I’m at this point where I don’t want to tell him about these problems.”
“You always have me,” I say, lifting my head to look at him.
Collin smiles. “Thank god for that.” The way he looks at me, as if he’s actually thanking every God possible for my existence and the fact that he has me here, sucks all the air from my lungs and sends my heart into convulsions. The moment snaps in two when Collin looks up at the ceiling and asks, “I don’t mean to bug you, but I want a more concrete answer.”
“On what?” I ask.
“How long do you plan to stay?”
I hear the underlying questions. How long do I have to keep this secret from my brother? Will you answer me definitely to ease my mind, so I can stop worrying about it? With a sigh, I drop my bombshell. “Can’t I move in?”
Collin frowns. He doesn’t point out that this is a one-bedroom apartment or that definitely complicates the whole matter of me not liking his brother or how I didn’t bring many clothes with me. Instead, he asks, “You don’t want to go home?”
“Life sucks back home. I need a change. A fresh start. I’ll only stay until I find a job and a place to rent. If you say no, I’ll just stay in a hotel and burn through my savings. I can fly home, pack some things, and drive my car back. I’m not going back either way,” I tell him.
His frown deepens. “What’s going on at home?”
I rest my head on his shoulder. What isn’t happening? “How do I get myself into these situations?” I whisper. It’s like ever since my incident with Cal, I’m constantly running into bad luck head-on with no protective gear. “Maybe if I’m around you, I won’t end up in sticky or stupid or bad situations.”
“If you want to move here, you have my support, Jules. You’re more than welcome to stay.” He kisses the top of my head just as Marmalade jumps onto the bed. “I hate this fucking cat,” he says as he walks up his chest and Collin scratches between his ears.
“I’d hate to know how you’d treat him if you loved him,” I tease.
“Probably the same. Do you have a bathing suit with you?”
I prop myself up on my arm at his question. “Why?” The hotel I was going to stay at if my emergency plan of calling Collin failed had a pool, and in my frantic state, I grabbed a suit since I thought maybe I’d want to relax, but Collin’s question is coming from nowhere.
“I’m not relaxed enough. Do you?” When I nod, he says, “Then let’s change.”
My heart flips at the thought of seeing Collin shirtless. I don’t know if I can handle what’s planned, but I’m looking forward to finding out.
It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Julie in a bikini. She may wear a frown and her arms may try their best to hide her body due to the bruises blossoming from that bastard she was with, but she’s still beautiful.
“Here,” I softly say as I hand Julie one of my hoodies to wear on the walk down to the pool room. She slips it on and I hand her a towel, which she wraps around her waist to cover some of the bruises on her legs. I don’t want to think about how they got there.
Julie gives me a grateful smile before taking my hand. “Lead the way.”
As quietly as possible, I open and close my door. Our footsteps are soft, but seemingly loud down the hallway. The last thing we want to do is give Cal a reason to pop his head out of his apartment. We make it down with no problem, thankfully. After shedding what clothes we wore, I pull Julie over to the hot tub. After turning it on and getting it going, we step in.