We watch that last movie. We cuddle when we go to sleep. Sunday, we wake up and have a repeat of the day before. I’m a bit concerned. Well, I’m wondering if I should be. Even when I visit Collin talks more than he has been. Maybe he’s tired from his trip and has to recharge before he’s back to normal? I could be worrying for nothing, too. He’s still functional. He cooks. He takes care of Marmalade. He told me we’re going on our date.
The only problem is he’s so quiet. He almost seems to be in another world, sometimes. Like he’s not paying attention to this one at all. The last thing I want to do is bug him about it. We’re on different terms now. Not to mention, I’m currently living with him. No way do I want to overstep or become a nuisance, especially this early on. My plan is to keep a watchful eye on him and if I feel the need to say something, I will. I’ll have to hope that Collin won’t nix me for it.
Now, it’s Monday and we just left the apartment for our date. Collin hasn’t said where we’re going and I’ve decided not to ask. All I know is casual dress was the way to go. We’re both wearing jeans and long-sleeved shirts. Collin has a hoodie on over his. I’m thankful I brought my jacket. It’s going to be an adjustment living here. It’s not easy going from warm Florida weather to forty degrees in North Carolina.
“I feel like a wimp,” I say once Collin has parked and we get out of his car.
“Why?” he asks with a little chuckle.
“Because I’m clearly a Floridian. I need another jacket.” I pull mine tighter around me.
Collin smiles as he takes my hand. “You’ll get used to it like I did. We only have a short walk.”
“Where are we going?”
“I know how you love museums, so we’re going to an art museum.”
“I can’t believe you remember that.” My parents are the reason I love to visit museums. That was essentially the biggest part of my childhood vacations and I fell in love with it. I still enjoy going, but it’s been hard to make time for it the past few years.
Collin’s voice softens as we walk into the building. “I remember everything about you.”
And that is how our wonderful date begins. Collin holds my hand. He doesn’t complain at my leisurely pace. He doesn’t make a comment that we should hurry after we spend hours looking at various artworks. But once again, I worry because he’s extra quiet. While this may not be his favorite place, I still thought he would talk to me more than he has.
“Collin?” He looks at me. “Are you okay? Truly okay?”
He quickly pulls me into a hug and holds me for a moment. “It’s taking some time to adjust to this new medication. Don’t worry about me yet.” I relax into his hug, knowing he realizes I do have a reason for voicing my question. “I’ve been talking to you in my mind all day, but I don’t feel like saying any of it. I’m sure I’ll eventually tell you what I’ve been thinking.”
“Okay.” Even if he doesn’t, it’ll be fine. Collin is aware he’s been quiet and that makes me feel better.
Collin smiles, releases me, and we finish our tour of the museum. I don’t know what it is about visiting these places, but I always leave relaxed and fulfilled.
“Hungry?” Collin asks, and I nod. He drives us to downtown, parks, and we walk to a Mexican restaurant.
Things are still quiet, but at least now I know why. My feet tap to the music playing. I’m dying to make some kind of conversation, but I don’t want to force him to talk if he’s not in the mood. But I can always count on Collin to come through for me.
“We have all week to pretty much do whatever we want, you know,” he says. “And we don’t have to worry about Cal being around.”
“Thank goodness for that,” I mutter as I take a sip of my drink. “Is there anything you want to do while you’re off?”
“Nothing in particular, but if there’s something you want to do, we’ll do it.” Collin seems to study me for a moment and then he asks, “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but am I missing something when it comes to you and Cal? I thought you both wanted to end the relationship.”
“We did,” I quickly say.
“Then why do I feel like there’s some animosity toward him?”
Do I tell him the truth? Lying seems like a bad idea, and once Cal finds out, he’ll discover the same from him, I’m sure. With a sigh, I reply, “That’s because there is.”
“But why?” he immediately asks.
My eyes roam around the restaurant. “If I tell you, it won’t be here. We need privacy.” At the mention of that, Collin frowns. “This isn’t the place, Collin. I don’t know if I want to tell you this, either,” I admit. “I’m like a step away from hating your brother and I don’t want you to feel the same way.”
“How can you feel that way about him and not me? We’re identical twins, Jules.”
I reach across the table and rest my hand over his heart. “You’re not the same in here.”
It bugs the hell out of me that for some reason Collin thinks he and Cal are exactly the same. No matter how many times I tell him I notice the differences between the two of them, that they aren’t alike to me, he doesn’t seem to get they aren’t the same. That he truly is the better Kessy. That he’s his own person, not simply half of a set. But he never accepts what I tell him as the truth.
I pull my hand away as the waitress finally delivers our food. We’re sucked back into silence while we eat. I can almost see the wheels in Collin’s mind turning as he tries to figure out what his brother possibly could’ve done for me to feel the way I do about him. Telling Collin will be hard. Not only because of what happened, but because I know if Collin’s heart is as good as it is, he won’t be happy to hear what I have to say.