She already felt the loss of him and didn’t know how she was going to manage it when he was gone. And she had no confidence at all in her ability to convince him to stay.
Something had changed. The sound of his voice as he hashed things over with the plumbing contractor both grounded her and filled her with emptiness. Never, in the seven years since she’d been attacked, had she let down her guard so completely. She’d been so used to reacting to things that she didn’t know how to take control and act. And while he thought that giving her control of The Cascade was what she wanted, nothing was further from the truth. A month ago she would have taken it gladly. But now…it meant nothing, not without Luca.
But it wasn’t what they agreed, and she had spent the better part of the morning desperately trying to find a time to speak to him in private to tell him how she felt.
Luca wound up the meeting and shook hands with the contractor. Mari smiled and offered her hand as well, knowing that from this moment on she would be the one carrying out Luca’s vision. She was pleased he trusted her enough to leave her with it. No one had ever shown her that much faith before. But at what cost? She wanted them to do it together. They had thus far, and it had changed her life. The last thing she wanted was to be put back in her old life. It was drab and colorless now.
The door to the conference room had just closed and Mari turned, wanting to say something and not knowing what. For a few long seconds their eyes clashed, and she wished she knew how to put into words what she was feeling.
Mari straightened her blouse. Should she ask him to lunch? Suggest something else? Her stomach twisted.
“That covers it, then.” His voice came quietly across the room and she closed her eyes, wondering if she could take the sound of it and commit it to memory.
“Piece of cake,” she replied, trying to inject some vigor into her words. They fell flat.
“Mari I—”
“Luca, would—”
They both halted as they interrupted each other. He held out his hand, offering to let her go first.
Always the gentleman.
“I was wondering if you’d like to have some lunch before you leave for the airport.”
“Do you think that’s wise?”
Mari shook her head. Would she feel better or worse for it? “Probably not. But I’m tired of being wise.”
The air crackled between them. She didn’t look away, couldn’t. She wanted to remember how he looked in his Italian suits, remember the sound of his voice, the way his cologne smelled. Wanted to imprint everything about him on her memory. She’d thought they had time, but after last night, the sand in the hourglass was slipping away much too quickly.
From the moment he’d stepped up and defended her, something had snapped, had turned around. Perhaps it was ridiculous, but she’d felt part of a unit. That with him beside her Robert couldn’t hurt her anymore. She loved him for that. Loved him for giving her safety, and freedom. He was her asylum.
Now he was taking it away, and she refused to accept it. She didn’t need asylum anymore. Robert was gone. He had no power over her now. And she wanted Luca more than ever before.
“Mari.” He leaned back against the conference table and folded his arms. His lips were unsmiling, troubled. “Mari, if we do this it won’t change anything. I’m still leaving.”
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what?” He looked confused and his arms unfolded. “Don’t say goodbye? Would you rather I left without a word?”
Mari swallowed every single ounce of fear and lifted her eyes to his. “Don’t go.”
He sighed. “You’ll be fine here. You don’t need me.”
She shook her head. She’d opened the door and dammit, she was going to walk through it.
“I do need you. More than you know. Robert—”
Luca’s back came away from the wall. “Robert what? Did he contact you?” His hands gripped her elbows and she tried to ignore the thrill that shot through her, just having him this close. “Is he trying to find you? I swear, Mari, if he—”
Mari shook her head quickly. “No, no! Of course not…Luca, Robert is dead.”
Luca released her arms and stared at her dumbly. She started to laugh at his confounded expression.
“I’m sorry. But you should see your face.”
“How did it happen?”