“I’m usually too busy to be lonely,” he admitted. “I have long hours at the office. This week I find myself at loose ends more often than not. I’m just not used to it.”
“Depends,” she mused, spearing a piece of cucumber.
“Depends on what?”
“On if you’re too busy so you don’t have to be lonely. If it’s a distraction.”
He stared at her.
“Speaking from experience, here. Sometimes it’s hard to be alone with yourself. So you fill up the hours with stuff to avoid it.”
“Delly, I...no. I just have a demanding job.”
“Okay. I just thought I’d ask. I have a lot of experience with this sort of thing.”
His appetite suddenly wasn’t as keen. Was she partly right? It was ridiculous, wasn’t it? He was CFO of a major company, the youngest member of the C-suite. He’d had to work long hours to get where he was and he didn’t regret it.
But had it been a convenient way to keep from being lonely? To fill his time so he didn’t have time to think too much?
“I hit a nerve. I’m sorry.”
Her voice was soft and reminded him of too many dinners they’d shared, sitting across from each other at a small table in his apartment, or hers. “It’s okay. To be honest, I’ve spent the last four years working my butt off to get where I am in the company. I’m the youngest executive. It required a few sacrifices. Personal time being one of them.”
Of course, it had kept him from forming deep, personal connections. He’d only dated a handful of women, and then it had been five, maybe six dates and they went their own way. Anytime he’d sensed things getting a little too close, he’d backed off. He liked keeping it uncomplicated. He moved on before...well... Before a woman had a chance of actually getting him to care too much. He was the one who did the leaving, not the other way around.
And before she had time to get too attached.
The potatoes were suddenly dry in his mouth. Did he really do that?
He looked over at Adele, who was watching him with her eyes wide and filled with curiosity. “Where’d you go?” she asked, frowning a little. “You got very quiet all of a sudden.”
He wasn’t sure what to say. They’d had a nice day, but spilling his guts to his ex didn’t seem like a smart move. Particularly since he suspected his thoughts were somehow tangled up in her leaving him in the first place.
“I don’t know,” he replied, cutting into his steak again to avoid meeting her gaze. “Just thinking you might be right about the all-work-and-no-play thing.”
She chuckled then, lightening the mood a bit. “And you were on my case for never playing hooky. When was the last time you did?”
He looked up and offered a wry smile. “A planned vacation is as close as it gets. And this is my first one in nearly two years.”
“Then I’m glad you didn’t leave last night and you’re taking a few more days.”
“Me too.”
They finished their meal and he helped load the plates into the dishwasher. Then he dried when she washed the pots and pans by hand. It only took a few moments, and he knew he should leave, but he wasn’t ready to go back to an empty hotel room with nothing but the TV for company. When she reached for the wine bottle and refilled their glasses, he didn’t protest. Instead he took his and followed her into the living room.
“Are you cold?” she asked.
She was still wearing the leggings and sweater from skiing, and he’d changed back into jeans when he’d returned the skis at the hill. The room was warm but not overly so, but he suspected she was chilly, so he answered, “If you’re thinking of turning on the fireplace, that might be nice.”
All it took was the press of a button and the gas fireplace came to life with a poof. The lamps and the flickering fire lent the room a soft glow, and they sat on either end of the sofa. Adele let out a long sigh, the soft sound reaching inside him and making him wish things he had no right wishing. This was Adele. Delly. They were over. He had no right to be thinking of her in that way.
Except he was. Because he’d never been as comfortable with anyone as he was with her. Even now, with that little bit of awkwardness between them, there was something else, something bigger, making him feel as though this was where he was meant to be.
“This is nice,” she said quietly, her head back against the cushion but turned in his direction. “I’m going to be sore tomorrow, but the whole day was so fun. Thank you for convincing me to take it off.”
“You’re welcome. Everyone needs a little R & R.”
“Even big-shot CFOs?” she asked, a smile playing on her lips.