The realization was so sudden that he felt everything within him drop to his feet, shifting the grate beneath the soles of his shoes. A lifetime? Impossible. Recognizing his feelings as love was different than contemplating forever. He’d felt that longing with Rosa, and he never wanted to go through that pain again. His brain leapt ahead, searching for logic. What kind of life would they have? He could resume his place at Motores Mendoza, he supposed, but he’d be miserable, stuck in the city with no room to breathe. At the mercy of the boardroom and his father’s legacy. And the estancia was a fine place for a holiday, but would a woman like Sophia ever be happy out in the middle of the pampas? Living there wasn’t the same as a week’s vacation.
He took several steps away from the observation platform, back towards where the boardwalk narrowed. Sophia looked back at him and smiled, her curls darker now from the damp, the corkscrews springing up and framing her tanned face. Even if they could agree, it was crazy to think of asking her to stay after only a week of knowing her. The heavy feeling in his chest, the way his words felt as though they were going to stick in his throat when she was around—this was simply a holiday fling, right? A far cry from building a life with someone. That was complete and utter nonsense.
Sophia was mesmerized by the thunder of the water and the spray that settled like a film on her hair. It was majestic, staggering, awesome. She closed her eyes, listening to the crash of the water, feeling the power vibrate through her feet up her body, loving the way the mist moistened her skin.
And then she opened her eyes and looked at Tomas. He was standing back towards the opening of the observation deck, watching her with such a serious expression that her heart stuttered.
She smiled at him, wanting to see him smile back at her, needing the warmth of it. Every time she thought about leaving she felt a little piece of her heart break away. Tomorrow it was back to Buenos Aires and the airport. It was hours on a plane and a life of uncertainty waiting—a life she could choose. It should have felt like a world of excitement and possibility.
Right now it just felt empty. Because there would be no Tomas in it.
She took her hand off the railing and went to him, curling her hand around his arm. “You’re looking glum.”
“Am I? I didn’t mean to.” But there was something in his voice. It was too perfect, too cautious. “Let’s walk. There are tons of trails. Let’s just enjoy the day, okay?”
They made their way to the train and soon they were chugging their way back to the station where they could connect to walking trails. Tomas pointed out coatis scurrying through the grass, searching for discarded snacks from the tourists. “Tomas?” Sophia watched a coati shoving a piece of bread into its mouth, reminding her of the raccoons back home. “If I ask you now, will you answer? Why didn’t you tell me you were part owner of the estancia?”
Tomas dropped his hand and sighed. “Maria has a big mouth.”
Sophia couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s like you hung the stars and the moon for her, Tomas. She just loves you. She’s proud of you.”
Was it pain that suddenly slashed across his face? If it was, it was gone just as quickly. “I have money, Sophia. My family owns Motores Mendoza—an auto parts company.”
“Is it a big company?”
He chuckled, the sound tight, no pleasure in it. “Fairly big. My father’s empire. I chose the pampas instead. I invested my money in Vista del Cielo.”
“Because of Rosa?”
She saw him swallow. She knew it was a tough topic, but it had bothered her that he’d let her believe he was nothing more than a gaucho, a worker.
“Partly. Because I love it there. And because I wanted to help Maria and Carlos. I am the silent partner. In exchange for capital, I have a job, a place to live.”
“No,” she replied, shaking her hair to let the breeze dry it. She could feel the humidity turning her curls into tight ringlets. “That is a business transaction. What you have, Tomas, is a family who loves you. What about your other family? Your real father and mother?”
He shook his head. “I haven’t spoken to them in some time. I should have taken my place at the head of the company when my father retired. He felt betrayed when I resigned and moved to the estancia.”
“But they are your family. If they love you…”
The train rolled into the station and they got off. Sophia peeled off her poncho and shook the remaining moisture off. Tomas rolled it and tucked it within the straps of the pack.
“Sophia, I never meant to mislead you. Not about any of it. I’m just a very private person. Talking about my personal life just doesn’t happen.”
“That explains me having to drag it out of you, then.” She started down the path, hearing his footsteps behind her. “But the result is that your silence can make a person feel very insignificant and meaningless.”
“Not meaningless!” He jogged to catch her and grabbed her hand. “Sophia…I know how he made you feel. I never meant to do that. Never. There were times I wanted to tell you, but how would I bring up such a topic?”
“The elephant in the room.” Sophia sighed, and their steps slowed as they walked the route to the lower falls.
The jungle seemed to close in, sheltering them in a green canopy of privacy as they traveled. A toucan flew in front of them and perched in a nearby tree. Butterflies dotted the foliage. Sophia was thinking about getting on the plane tomorrow and wondering how she was going to make it through that.
“After what happened to you, aren’t you afraid to love again?” Tomas asked. “Doesn’t it frighten you?”
Sophia nodded. “Of course. Once you’ve been burned…you grow cautious.”
“Then imagine if the person you’d loved had died. Wouldn’t it scare you to think of loving someone that much again? Knowing how it had hurt?”
The thought of leaving Tomas tomorrow was ripping through her insides, but he’d still be alive and well and riding the pampas. To think about a world without Tomas in it…