In the Line of Duty (First Responders 2)

h. And she could even admit to herself that she’d needed the physical contact. It was ridiculous to be so inexperienced at her age.

But the closeness she’d experienced with Jake did frighten her. What did it say about her that the first place she’d turned tonight was Jake’s? Had she really been bent on making herself forget, or had something more driven her here?

On the outside they were complete opposites. He was relaxed and easygoing while she was starched and uptight. He ran a bar and she upheld the law. But inside, in all the other secret corners, she was starting to see they were made up of very similar stuff.

And comparing her evening to his past was apples and oranges. But when she put it into context, it took on a whole other life. She’d hated being the one to deliver the news because once upon a time she’d opened the door to that same news and afterwards nothing had been the same again.

A moment like that—when a family is ripped apart, when the woman you love is killed—it was the kind of moment that made the world drop out from under your feet.

Being held in Jake’s arms felt the tiniest bit like putting them on solid ground again.

“Telling that father tonight that his daughter was dead…that was the worst thing I’ve had to do in my life,” she admitted. “I know what it’s like to be on the other side of that door or phone call. I know how it tears things apart so that nothing is ever the same again. Thank you, Jake, for keeping me from self-destructing. I owe you.”

“You don’t owe me anything. You needed someone. Maybe if I’d talked to you sooner, I wouldn’t have made some of my mistakes either.”

“You’re here now and you’re okay. That’s what matters.”

“Right.”

She sat back in his arms and wrapped her fingers around the collar of his shirt. “Khaterah made her own choices, Jake. She knew the danger and the consequences, just like my father did when he became a police officer. Like I did. Like you did when you joined the Army. If you could have protected her, you would have. I know sometimes it’s harder to accept that you couldn’t. But it is what it is. Maybe it’s time we both started living again. Really living, not just going through the motions.”

She looked at him for a long moment, his face a little below hers as she sat on his lap, his full lips slightly open. She wet hers with her tongue, felt his warmth beneath her hands, felt the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. Jake was life. And she needed it—and him—so very badly.

She leaned forward and tasted his lips. There was a faint bite of whiskey and then something she already recognized as his own unique flavor. He opened his mouth beneath hers and she took her time, slowly exploring, sliding closer against his chest and curling her hand around the nape of his neck.

“Mmm,” he murmured against her mouth. “Kendra, are you sure you want to be starting this?”

Her blood sang through her veins, the same thrumming excitement she’d felt lying beneath him on the beach. She couldn’t ever remember feeling so alive. She wasn’t kidding herself into thinking this was more than it needed to be—one night. A connection, a shelter from all the crap that had been thrown at them because they’d chosen to do the jobs they did. She understood now what people meant when they said once in, never out. But for the next few hours they could forget.

“I’m sure.” She nodded, dotting kisses over his jaw and on the side of his neck. “Are you?” She shifted slightly, felt his hardness beneath the outside of her thigh and grinned. “You feel sure.”

He slid his hand over her ribs and cupped her breast through her shirt, his thumb grazing the nipple. “It’s not me I’m worried about. I don’t want you to regret anything in the morning.”

There was a swift kick of desire that centred low in her belly. His hand was doing fabulous things, making her feel all jacked up and liquid at the same time. He never stopped his slow ministrations even as he gave her a way out. They were talking about sex. Spending the night. It would be so different than the last and only time she’d been with a man. She was sure of that. Just as she was sure that she’d always regret walking out of this apartment tonight.

So she reached for the buttons of his shirt and said, “Are you going to talk all night, Jake?”

She spread the light fabric wide, revealing the expanse of his chest, touching the warm skin beneath. His eyes seemed to penetrate her in the darkness, intensely black as she ran her fingers over the wide expanse. He bit down on his lip, and she smiled as he quivered beneath her fingers. “You’re holding back,” she whispered. The music from the bar downstairs still sent a rhythmic thump through the floor that echoed between her legs as his hand slid over her hip.

“I don’t want to scare you,” he murmured back.

“Please,” she begged, “Don’t treat me like I’m breakable.” She wanted to meet him as an equal. She wanted to see Jake unleashed. What she wanted, she realized, was nothing short of it all.

“You know what you’re asking?” he said in the darkness, his voice rippling along her nerve endings.

“I do. I’m asking you to let go with me. And I’m asking you to let me meet you halfway.”

“Then we have to get up.”

“Get up? Why?”

He cupped her chin in his hand. “Because when I make love to you I don’t want it to be on some cramped sofa I’m scared of falling off of or on my living room carpet. I want you on my bed. My very big bed.”

She scrambled off his lap and he took her hand.

“This way,” he said, leading her down a short hall to his bedroom. Inside, he let go of her hand and went to a small table beside the bed and flicked on a small lamp. “Welcome to my sandbox.” He grinned, his chest still visible beneath the gaping tails of his shirt. “Wanna come play?”

“I thought you’d never ask,” she answered. Suddenly, the weight of the day seemed to lift from her shoulders. She hadn’t known it could be this way—playful. She was feeling her way through it, and it felt wonderful, liberating. She reached for her buttons and slid them from the holes, untucked her shirt and slipped it off.