Off The Clock (First Responders 1)

“Have you?” He still didn’t look at her but stared at the babies lined up in their bassinets in the nursery. “Forgotten about it, I mean.”

She didn’t know what to say. She hadn’t. In the long hours in her hospital bed, it was all she had thought about. And to explain it was so complicated. It was tied up in how she’d cared for him when she was a girl, tangled together with her failed marriage, her current feelings and understanding she was in a vulnerable place emotionally. It all made her sound so needy, she realized with a shudder. She wasn’t needy. She was a strong, independent woman. She was a mother and a teacher.

And yet the kiss remained. Of course she hadn’t forgotten it. Next to holding her healthy baby, it had been the best thing to happen to her in months.

“That’s what I thought,” he said drily. “Look, we’re not teenagers with a crush any longer. You’re stuck at the prom and I’ve moved on.”

That stung. Of course he must have known she had feelings for him back then. She’d been seventeen and he’d been older, cuter and the university’s hot new star football player. But to say she was stuck at the prom—the one time she’d come close to having Gabe to herself—was a deliberate cut, and unlike the considerate boy she remembered.

Which was fine. She wasn’t a little lovesick girl any longer. She might have put Gabe Brenner on a pedestal for a lot of years, but she wasn’t the kind of woman who settled for crumbs anymore. She’d made that mistake and had paid for it. She deserved better. So did Nathan.

“Thank you for your assistance, Gabriel.” She knew she sounded curt, but what did he expect? She’d expressed her thanks and had gotten the cold shoulder as a result. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to spend some time with my son.”

She swept into the nursery, forcing a bright smile at the nurse. She refused to turn around to see if he was gone. A few minutes later when she wheeled Nathan out of the room, the window was empty.

It was just as well, she supposed. After tomorrow she’d be discharged and it would just be her and Nathan. A sliver of anxiety cramped her heart. As difficult as the last few days had been, she suddenly realized it was only the beginning. For as much as Nathan was her whole world, she was also his. Knowing it made Carly feel utterly and completely alone.

Chapter Four

Being a mother was easily the hardest job Carly had ever done.

For the first week she was home, Carly’s mother took time off work and spent most of the day helping with chores around the house, watching Nathan while Carly grabbed a quick nap between feedings. When Carly would have grabbed a peanut butter sandwich, her mother made simple but balanced meals. Carly was still moving slowly thanks to her bruising and her mother’s presence was a godsend.

But after the first week Grandma Cindy was back to work and daily visits became daily check-ins. Two things became crystal clear to Carly. One, she was happy to be home with Nathan, but the lack of adult conversation was driving her crazy. And two, a house and yard added to springtime and a new baby meant she couldn’t possibly keep up. She was exhausted.

Her front lawn was sprouting a bumper crop of dandelions, her perennial bed was half-choked with weeds, and her attempts to rectify the situation during the following week were a disaster. If Nathan was napping, the lawn mower woke him. If he was awake, the noise frightened him and Carly didn’t like leaving him alone, even if it was buckled in his seat on the porch where she could see him every minute. She gave up on the grass and thought weeding might be a better option.

She tried putting Nathan in his stroller to enjoy the fresh air while she worked, talking along silly nonsense to him, thinking the sound of her voice would help keep him content. She’d only cleared around the hostas and golden forsythia when it had begun to rain, putting an end to her efforts.

She’d always taken such pride in her yard at the house she’d shared with Jason. Even though this was her first spring back in Wolfville, she wanted this place to be even more beautiful, full of colorful flowers and neatly trimmed grass. She’d spent time this past winter envisioning butterflies drawn to the blooms and songbirds to the feeders. Seeing the ragged-around-the-edges look to it each day simply reminded her of how she wasn’t really coping so well with single parenthood.

What she needed was to get out of her funk. When the next morning dawned fresh and clear, she decided to get out and replenish the pantry. The sun was shining and the scent of spring blooms clung to the air as she loaded her full bags in the trunk of her newly repaired car. Driving for the first time since the accident had been harrowing, and she’d had to force herself to do it. Now she was relaxing a little more each time she went out. Nathan had gotten lots of attention at the grocery store and Carly had stopped on the way home, treating herself to lunch at a local café.

The ebullient feeling fled when she arrived at her house, however. Gabe’s truck was in the driveway, a utility trailer attached to the hitch and a set of ramps leading to the pavement. And there he was, riding around her lawn, a swath of neat grass trimmings following in his wake. She felt an initial relief and gratitude that he was here followed by annoyance that he’d taken it upon himself to trim up her yard without so much as a call first. Maybe she was having trouble managing it all, but after their last encounter she didn’t want Gabe picking up the slack. She wasn’t anyone’s charity case. If that was pride, so be it.

She tried to ignore the mower going round and round as she took Nathan, still in his car seat, into the house. She dashed back out to get the grocery bags, but by the time she returned inside Nathan was tuning up, vocally complaining as the noise of the tractor filtered in. Carly sighed and put the bags on the kitchen counter. Nathan had stayed awake through most of the outing and now he was hungry and tired.

The groceries would have to wait, she realized, as the thin cries grew more demanding and her nerves began to fray. And so would confronting Gabe. She settled into her rocker with a sigh and began to feed the baby, closing her eyes and willing herself to relax. All the while the drone of the mower provided background noise and Carly was torn between feeling grateful for Gabe’s efforts and wishing he would go away. She thought of him too often as it was and wished she didn’t. Their last encounter had made everything clear. He’d helped her and that was that.

Which did nothing to explain why on earth he was here now.

Nathan wasn’t done feeding when the mower stopped and Carly’s head snapped up. Surely Gabe wouldn’t come in. He’d load the mower onto the trailer first. She looked down at Nathan’s downy head. His eyes were closed but he was definitely not finished, one hand pressed against the skin of her breast as if holding it in place, making sure it wouldn’t disappear. A soft smile touched her lips as a knock sounded at the screen door. Nathan’s eyes flew open and his hand flinched in a startle reflex. But he was determined, and never moved when the knock sounded again.

“Carly?”

She felt heat rise to her cheeks at the sound of Gabe’s voice. She didn’t want him to see her nursing. It was too…personal. Too awkward. She didn’t know how to answer him and he said her name again. This time she heard the hinges on the door creak and she reached for the flannel receiving blanket, clumsily draping it over Nathan’s head and her partially naked breast.

The tiny foyer was just off the living room and as soon as Gabe entered he realized where Carly was and what she was doing—it was written in the blank, awkward expression on his face. She felt heat flare again as she met his gaze. She shouldn’t be embarrassed. It was her house, her baby…and Gabe had walked into it.

But it was more than that. It was because despite all arguments to the contrary, there was something between them. Whether it was past fee

lings or recent words, there was something tethering them together and they’d be stupid to deny it.

“I’m sorry,” Gabe murmured, and turned to go back out the way he’d come.

Nathan picked that moment to completely fall asleep. “It’s okay, Gabe. We’re done. Just give me a moment to…”

Why was she so flustered? She struggled to keep the blanket in place as she tried to re-clip her nursing bra. People fed their babies every day. It was the most natural thing in the world. But it was different because it was Gabe, not some stranger. It was different because she cared what he thought. And even though he’d walked in at an inopportune moment, she did want to talk to him. To find out what he was doing here. “Just let me put things back into place, okay?”