Off The Clock (First Responders 1)

Gabe’s face flushed and he looked like he didn’t know whether to go out or stay in. In the midst of his indecision the square of fabric covering Nathan drooped, revealing the full curve of Carly’s breast as she tried to fasten her bra.

Heat rushed into her face as she grabbed at the receiving blanket. She saw Gabe swallow and avert his eyes. She was absolutely mortified and she bowed her head, struggling to regain her composure as she buttoned the top three buttons on her blouse. This afternoon she’d been feeling somewhat human again, going shopping and picking up lunch like she would have before Nathan was born. Like she was getting back into the swing of things. And then Gabe had arrived, making her jittery and self-conscious with his chocolate eyes and, well, by just being Gabe.

“There,” she whispered, flashing him an uncertain smile. She got up from the chair, moving gingerly in deference to both the lingering stiffness she felt and to keep Nathan from waking. “Let me put him down in his crib and I’ll be right back.”

As Carly made her way back to the living room, she passed the hall mirror and noticed the dark circles beneath her eyes. There was a small spot on her blouse where she’d dropped a tiny piece of chicken salad, and her “deliberately messy” ponytail now just looked messy. She bit her lip, wishing she had time to change, freshen up. But Gabe had seen her in worse shape, hadn’t he?

So she settled for straightening her blouse and tucking a few stray strands of hair behind her ears as she went back to find him.

Gabe had taken off his grassy sneakers and left them on the mat. He hadn’t come in any farther than the entry; Nathan’s car seat sat on the floor in the way, flanked by the diaper bag. Carly paused, unsure of what to do or say. What did Gabe want? The grocery bags were still piled on the kitchen counter. A laundry basket waited at the base of the stairs, filled with unfolded towels. There were still things to do and Carly couldn’t help thinking that if she could get them done quickly, she might be able to catch a few minutes sleep while Nathan napped.

Sleep was a precious commodity, but knowing Gabe waited for her made her heart beat a little bit faster. So much for being over him then. And even though she was grateful that her grass was neatly cut, she was a little bit angry that he’d presumed to do her yard work without even asking. If she wanted help she’d darn well ask for it. Or she could hire a teenager to help her out. Yes, she should have thought of it before. There were always kids on her road looking for extra summer cash. The last thing she wanted was Gabe thinking she expected him to pick up the slack.

“You look tired.”

Her hand paused beside her ear and she wished now that she’d taken the time to splash some cold water on her face or something.

“Gee, thanks.”

He had the grace to look chagrined. “Aw hell, Carly, I’m an idiot. That wasn’t smooth, was it?” He smiled, looking so contrite it was difficult to stay irritated though she tried very hard to be. “I’ve clearly lost my mojo. Maybe I should have said, you look great, but a little tired?”

She felt herself softening. “No, you’re right,” she confessed. “I’m quickly discovering that with a newborn you don’t stay neat and tidy for long.” She smiled back at him. “But he’s worth it. Funny how a tiny baby can change your life so much.”

“He’s beautiful, Carly. Really something.”

“That,” she said smugly, “might go a little way towards getting your mojo back. The sure way to a mother’s heart is to flatter her baby.”

For a few seconds their eyes met, and Carly wondered if he was actually interested in working his mojo or if he was just teasing. She wondered which she wanted too. After one simple kiss it seemed like everything they said came with built-in innuendo.

Gabe looked completely unconcerned though. “How are you making out?” he asked. “Is he sleeping? Are you sleeping?”

She shrugged. “I’m up a few times in the night. During the day though, it’s a challenge to stay on top of things.” His gaze met hers and she felt the jolt clear to her toes. It seemed some things didn’t change after all. Not after several years and not after the intense atmosphere of the night of her accident. Not even after giving birth to a baby and feeling distinctly un-sexual most of the time. Gabe had a way of flustering her and making her feel all sorts of things she hadn’t felt in a very long time.

Maybe lack of sleep had her making more of Gabe’s favor than she should. Perhaps there wasn’t any motive at all. Either way, she owed him her gratitude and not attitude.

“Thank you for cutting the grass.” Oh brother, was that a breathless note in her voice? She cleared her throat, determined that Gabe not see what an effect he had on her. She wasn’t sixteen anymore, so why did she feel that way when he was around? “I should have done it days ago, but Nathan hates the sound of the mower.”

“It was no trouble.”

And still they were standing like statues in the living room and foyer. “Do you want a cup of coffee?” she offered. “I can put the kettle on.”

He looked for a minute like he might refuse, but then he smiled. “Sure, that’d be nice.”

He followed her into the kitchen and she was constantly aware of him watching her movements as she filled the kettle and plugged it in. “I hope you don’t mind instant,” she said, opening a cupboard. “I’ve been off caffeine for a while, so instant’s all I’ve got. Unless you’d prefer herbal tea.”

She sent him a teasing look, trying to picture big, manly Gabe drinking something named Peach Passion. He smiled back. This was the Gabe she remembered. Always a half-smile and a hint of something else—like they were sharing a secret. Problem was, this was also the Gabe who had the power to reach inside her and rekindle dreams that were best left in the past.

“Instant’s fine,” he replied.

She moved around the kitchen, putting groceries away while the water heated. Gabe perched on a stool, resting his elbows on the counter. What should she say? Though he hadn’t said it, she got the sneaky feeling that he was here for some larger purpose, though she couldn’t imagine what. Her feelings were more than they should be. They always had been. She needed him to draw the line in the sand. Telling herself that she should stop thinking about him wasn’t working. But she could do it if he said the words.

Lord knew he’d always been good about setting her straight before.

But not yet, she realized. She didn’t want to see that look in his eyes yet. Because somehow she did enjoy the thought of being his. She liked the idea of the possibility that their kiss had been on his mind as much as hers. It made no sense. For months she hadn’t even been able to contemplate another relationship. Jason had destroyed more than their marriage when he left. He’d said things, things she thought might actually be true.

Like how she’d never really loved him. That if she truly had, she would have accepted him as he was rather than trying to change him. At the time it had hurt so much, but there had always been something missing.

At first she’d thought it was the baby issue. But now she wasn’t so sure. All she knew was that the painful things he had said had left their scars. Why would she willingly put herself in the middle of an emotional storm like that again?