Hurt threatened to pierce her heart, but she steeled herself and kept it away by sheer force of will. She’d gone along with every single thing he’d suggested, and she’d fallen in love with him. Except it wasn’t really him; just a show he’d put on to get what he wanted. And what made her the angriest was that he was planning on working out his childhood issues by using his own child as...what? Therapy? That was no way to bring a baby into the world. Not to solve your own problems.
She still had her clutch with her, and she took out her phone, turned on the data and booked a flight back to Halifax for the next day, on a commercial flight, which left approximately seventy-two dollars of available credit on her card. A knock sounded on the bathroom door just as she was getting the confirmation email. “Tori? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she replied, lifting her chin and staring at herself in the mirror. Right now she hated this dress. It wasn’t her. It was someone she thought she could be. It was a lie, just like everything he’d said had been a lie.
“Are you sick?”
“I’ll be
right out.” She squared her shoulders and opened the door, unprepared for the shaft of pain she felt upon seeing his concerned face. He wanted her baby, not her. And she rather wished he’d just been honest about that from the beginning, rather than manipulating her.
“Sorry. Turns out dinner didn’t agree with me after all. I think I’d like to go...” She hesitated before saying home. “Back to the apartment.”
He didn’t say much, just watched her with an odd expression as she passed him on her way out the door and led the way to the stairs.
“If that’s what you want, I’ll get our coats.”
It was a long drive back to the city. She didn’t relish the idea of being in the car with him for that long, because she wasn’t ready to talk about this yet. But it was her only way back to New York. It wasn’t like she could ask Sarah. She’d been drinking all night. And Tori refused to cause a scene here.
She didn’t bother saying goodbye to Sarah and she certainly didn’t say goodbye to the hosts, who hadn’t wanted her there to begin with. The snow flurries had stopped, thankfully, and at least they wouldn’t be driving back in a heavier snowfall.
She got in the car and he turned on the heater while he cleared off the half inch or so of snow that had fallen earlier.
“Are you sure you’re all right? You look flushed.”
“I’m fine. Tired.” Her heightened color was because she was agitated. Her heart ached and yet she felt outrage. At him, at herself for being so willing to fall for him and his pretty stories of what their life could be together.
She’d been a fool.
And yet she didn’t know how to navigate the conversation that needed to happen, so she leaned her head against the car window and stared outside at the darkness. After a few minutes, she closed her eyes and pretended to sleep.
Her thoughts were anything but quiet.
Her heart was broken. Her trust was broken. Her faith was broken. She’d believed him when he’d said he cared for her. When he’d promised not to use his money to fight for his advantage. But he’d used it anyway, in a method far more ruthless.
He’d never said he loved her. He’d used the words like and care. But never love. It was as though his conscience wouldn’t let him go that far.
Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes and she fought the urge to wipe them away.
Most of all she was angry with herself, for buying into it all so willingly.
He didn’t say anything until they were in the city. “Tori, wake up. We’re almost home.”
She’d never been asleep but she pretended to perk up, sitting up in the seat and stretching. Her neck was cramped from leaning at an angle on the car door, and her heart felt raw and empty. Now she was minutes away from the conversation she didn’t want to have. But she wouldn’t run with her tail between her legs as if she had done something wrong.
“Feeling any better?”
“A little,” she lied.
“The food was a little rich. Maybe it was just too much.”
She didn’t reply until they’d reached his building, gone up in the elevator and he was opening the door.
“It wasn’t the food that made me sick.” She peeled off the cape and put it on a chair in the foyer. She wouldn’t take it with her. It was too expensive. A symbol of everything that was wrong with their relationship. She’d take only the things she’d brought with her in the first place. They were good enough for home.
“What was it?” Concern etched the corners of his eyes and she wanted to scream at him to stop pretending he cared.
“I was upset.”