Looking for You (Oh Captain, My Captain 1)

I go into the bathroom and scrub my face of all the makeup. I’m still furious that when I’m done, my face is red. I slip on one of my nightshirts and go into the living room. I turn on my laptop and Google: Hudson King. There he is right there staring back at me. I begin to read all about him.

He did go to Boston College and major in architecture. I think back to that day sitting on the trail:

“Hey, I never asked you what your major was in college?”

“I majored in architecture.”

“Oh, you’re an architect!”

He never said he was an architect. I assumed that he was one. I shake my head. He wore a hoodie that day with his name on it. I should have questioned him about it, but I didn’t. I continue to read and see that he’s one of the highest paid captains in the league. I roll my eyes. Of course, I’m dating some multimillionaire and didn’t know it.

I read that the Vikings were having a rough season right around the time we first met. I remember the first time I saw Hudson at Jim’s:

“Oh, what do you do?”

“Right now he is working with a bunch of uncoordinated monkeys,” Jim said.

“You work for the circus?”

“No, he means the people I work with are like uncoordinated monkeys.”

I close my eyes. I’m such an idiot. I even remember the look on his face when he thought I knew who he was. Why didn’t I know who he was? It isn’t like I’m Lacey and keep up with the latest gossip.

Lacey.

Lacey would have known who he was. I grab my phone, and ignore all the miss calls and texts and call her.

“I figured you were dancing the night away still,” she answers.

“I need to ask you something and I want the truth, please. I’ve had a very bad night.”

“Oh my God, Ellie, what is it?” Her voice is full of concern

“Did you know that Hudson is a hockey player?”

There is nothing but silence on the other end.

“Lacey, did you?” My voice cracks, but I already know the answer.

“I did know who he was that night. But I told him to tell you. I swear.”

The tears fall again. My best friend. “Why didn’t you tell me? I looked like a fool tonight.”

“Wait, where were you?”

“I was at the dinner. He was there as a special guest or something. My boss and his assistant coach introduced us. I left and probably lost my job too.”

“Oh no, Ellie, I’m so sorry.”

“Yea, well, maybe my best friend should have told me so I wouldn’t have to feel so betrayed by everyone.” I hang up on her before she can say anything.

I just sit there in the quiet. It reminds me of how alone I am. I close the laptop, and turn off my phone. I lay on my bed and cry myself to sleep.

Chapter Seventeen

Hudson

I absolutely hate that I watched Ellie walk away from me, that I let her go, but I have to get back to the event and maybe some time away from me is what she needs right now. This isn’t how I wanted her to find out. The look on her face was devastating with the hurt and betrayal staring back at me. None of my worst nightmares could compare to how I felt when I saw that look in her eyes. I desperately wanted to hold her and make her feel better, but I couldn’t.