Looking for You (Oh Captain, My Captain 1)

“Harry Potter movies?”

“Yep, the whole collection. However, you can’t watch them without me. Deal?”

I can’t watch movies without him. I bite my lip knowing exactly what I’m going to do tomorrow.

~

The idea seemed better in my head than when I’m standing on the other side of Hudson’s door. It even took me almost thirty minutes to get out of my car. Another ten to walk into his building, and now I’m just standing here like a statue. What if he doesn’t want to see me? What if he slams the door in my face this time?

I think about the words of my aunt and Hudson’s mom. If it’s meant to be, then it will happen. I take a deep breath, count to ten, and knock on the door.

“Ellie. How…what are you doing here?” His expression is genuine shock. I guess Whitney didn’t tell him that she gave me his address.

“Um,” I shift, uncomfortably, “I was at the game last night. Whitney gave me your address and code. You know, in case we needed to talk.”

“She didn’t tell me that part,” he mumbles.

“If you don’t want me here, I can leave. I know that I didn’t call first or anything.” I start to back away, ready to leave if he wants me to.

“No, no. It’s fine. Come on in.” He steps to the side to let me inside the apartment.

It’s a huge studio apartment with bright open windows. The kitchen is on my right. It looks more updated than mine. In front of me is an open floor which Hudson turned into his living room. There is a massive TV on the wall, every electronic game you could even think of neatly under it on their stands. His couch is plush, and I can tell it’s leather. To the right is a huge foosball table and a pool table beyond that. There is a staircase at the very end of the room, and I assume that is where his bedroom is.

“Wow, this is a bachelor pad. You didn’t lie about that.”

“No, I didn’t. There were a lot of misplaced truths, I guess you could call them that,” he says sadly.

On the far side of the wall, where I’m standing is an enormous display case. There are ribbons, medals, and everything in between. Next to it are several hockey sticks. They look used. The tape around them is worn and one stick is cracked in half.

“That’s a lot of awards on that wall and hockey sticks. Some of them look like from when you were younger.”

“Yeah, some are. Do you want to go look at them?”

“Um, maybe another time.” I shake my head. “I actually came over here for a reason,” I say confidently.

“Okay, what is it then? Finally decide to use the pepper spray on me?” He gives me that beautiful smile.

“As tempting as that might sound, no, that isn’t the reason. I made a deal with you that I wouldn’t watch these without you.” I reach into my purse and pull out the DVD. “And I really want to see this one. So, do you have time to watch it with me today?” I say a silent prayer, hoping that he will say yes.

“Of course. It would be my pleasure.”

Chapter Nineteen

Hudson

“Do you want anything to drink?” I ask as the movie begins. Ellie shakes her head and I sit down next to her on my couch. I can’t believe she’s here. I’m not even sure what to do or say. Part of me wants to ask her how she’s been, if she enjoyed the game, and if she’s still friends with Lacey. The other part thinks I should keep my mouth shut and wait for Ellie to take the lead. What if I’m so exhausted that I’m hallucinating, and she’s not really here?

Just like the first time we watched a movie, Ellie slips off her shoes, tucking her legs underneath her, but she doesn’t lean into me. My eyes are stuck on the TV without actually seeing anything. My vision is too busy trying to look at Ellie from the corner of my eye. Mentally, I make a list. Ellie went to my game last night after Whit apparently went over and gave her a ticket. Then Whitney gave her my address, and now Ellie is here sitting next to me. Maybe I need to call and thank my sister.

I don’t know if I can sit through this entire movie and not say something. This feels like a misuse of time. We can always start it over to watch it again. I don’t even know what’s happening becaus

e I can’t focus on anything other than the fact that she’s three inches from me.

“I’ve missed you,” I finally say. That seems to be the safest thing.

Ellie glances over at me. “I’ve missed you too.”

“I hope my sister and my mom weren’t too overwhelming.” I don’t know where to start, but last night seems to be a good place.