I shake my head, taking her hand, and leading her over to sit on the bed. “Only before a big game.” That’s sort of true.
“Yeah, and tomorrow is a big one.”
Yes, it is. We’ll either go home champions or go home losers.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No. Will you stay?”
Hadley nods and we get comfortable in my bed. Just like before, we face each other on our sides. She studies me as she takes my hand, placing it over her heart. The familiar beat calms me. I’m positive I could recognize the feel of it if I needed to. Hadley reaches out, her fingers stroking my beard along my jaw. Between that and her heartbeat, it doesn’t take me long to relax and fall back asleep.
When I wake up in the morning, I get to feel what it’s like to have the love of your life leave before you wake up.
~ ~ ~
I slam my stick against the board in front of the players' bench, snapping it in half. Missing a pass that allows the other team to take the puck and score seconds later isn’t exactly how I want to play in the Final. Not to mention that fucking Jax Godwin is getting under my skin with all his chirping.
I take the new stick that’s handed to me and take a deep breath. Focus, Luca. It’s the third period. There’s still twelve minutes to play. Twelve minutes to break our current tie. Darryl scores in his next shift, but Godwin scores right back. I jump onto the ice for a face-off.
I’m able to win it and pass the puck off to someone else as we rush down into the other zone. Every shot gets blocked for both teams. Everything is happening so fast and it seems like time between shifts isn’t lasting long enough to take a deep breath. My eyes follow the puck as I chase after a defenseman. He lifts his head, giving me the chance to pump my legs faster and steal it. We immediately turn and skate down the ice.
The seconds are counting down in what feels like a rapid speed. We need to score or go into overtime. I pass the puck to Darryl, and he sends it back to me. James is open, so I shoot it his way. He quickly slaps it forward.
My breathing stops when I see the lamp light up, the crowd erupting around us. We can’t lose at home. We have twenty seconds left on the clock. Twenty seconds is all we need. The Gamblers fight and push the game closer to our net. The one shot they attempt bounces off the crossbar.
The buzzers sounds.
Holy shit.
We won.
We won!
Darryl, James, and the rest of our teammates huddle together, hollering and cheering. Once we break apart, we line up for the handshake. Wow, is all I can think as I slap the shoulders of the opposition and truly mean it when I say, “Great game.”
When the moment comes to lift that cup over my head, my energy has suddenly been replenished. I’m dancing on cloud nine. With the biggest grin ever, I lift the best trophy ever made over my head. My eyes automatically go to the seats behind the players’ bench.
My smile falters for half a second when I only see my parents. It is one of the best moments in my career and I can’t share it with Hadley. What’s the point of winning, of making this accomplishment, if she’s not here?
I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut, but I mask it as I hand the trophy to the next person. My parents look so proud. Every single person, every Bucks fan, in this arena is grinning and happy. Yet I can’t even enjoy this.
This half of my life and all I do with it doesn’t matter unless my other half is here, too. She wasn’t there this morning, which hurt like hell, but I understood it. She’s not here now, and because of my choices, she won’t ever be here. A few hours before the game, she sent me a text that she is having a girl.
Is it worth it? Is walking away because I don’t want a child worth not giving myself the benefit of the doubt, not raising our daughter together, and being there for Hadley?
Chapter Fifteen
Hadley
“Hadley, take care of yourself and our granddaughter.” Mama hugs me tightly.
“I promise.” I smile.
“We’ll be back around October or so to make sure we’re here for the birth,” Papa adds.
“She isn’t coming till December,” I remind him. “There’s no reason to come two months before she’s due.”
“Hadley.” I know where Luca learned his serious tone.