I hold my hands in surrender. “Okay, okay, I will see you both in October.”
They hug me one more time and then head off to the security line and then toward their gate. I rub my belly as I watch them turn the corner. I swear overnight I grew ten more inches. This child is going to be huge. My doctor even said so. I shouldn’t be shocked about that; Luca is huge.
I leave the airport and head back to the house. I stop by a drive-thru and grab a couple burgers, large fry, and a sweet tea. That’s all I seem to be living on right now. Mama baked several pies while she was here and I’m sure I ate most of them. I don’t even think Papa got a piece of the apple. I pretty much took a fork and devoured that on my own.
I see Luca’s SUV parked in the driveway and my stomach drops. What is he doing here?
Hadley, you’re a dumbass, I think, and I shake my head. The season is officially over. He’s moving his stuff out.
I park my car next to his, thinking about the game three days ago. I had been sitting on the couch and was as nervous as Luca looked. I cheered, jumped up and down, and yelled how happy I was for him. He did it. He won the Cup. I cried when he lifted it over his head. His smile was huge and I never thought he would was going to hand the Cup off to the next person, but he did.
Now, it’s back to reality. It’s back to him moving his stuff out of the house and leaving me for good. I thought that after we had sex the first time we were going to be heading in the right direction, but he didn’t speak to me until he called me with his nightmare.
I’ll always be there for him. I know how those nightmares affect him. They tear at him and cause him to revert back to when he was fifteen and Valeria died. I wish that he understood that he was young and it wasn’t his fault. However, it’s something he needs to deal with and I don’t know what else I can do for him.
Nothing.
That’s why I left before he woke up. I didn’t sleep at all when I was in his hotel room. I studied his face and kept touching his beard. I listened to his soft breathing and watched the twitch of his eyes.
It broke my heart to leave.
But this is something I need to accept.
I did text him about the baby to let him know that it was going to be a girl because he is the father and he has a right to know. I will always keep him updated. He needs to know about her, even if he doesn’t want to be in her life.
I grab my bag of food and head into the house. I need to stop avoiding this. I yell his name as I go into the house and head toward the kitchen. I open my burger and take a big bite as I take a seat at the breakfast bar. He comes down the stairs and I turn to look at him.
I begin to choke on my food. “What did you do?” I ask when I’m finally able to say something.
“What are you talking about? Are you okay?”
“Luca.” My mouth is still hanging open as I stare at his face. “You shaved?” I haven’t seen his face this clean since we were in college.
I see his throat move as he swallows hard and looks almost shy. “Yeah. Decided to see if I still looked the same.” He shrugs as if it’s not a big deal.
I can feel the tears as I try to compose myself. He isn’t mine anymore. He can do as he pleases, but he knows how much I love his beard. “Yeah, you look the same. I can’t believe you shaved, though. It’s been so long.” I can hear my voice cracking as my emotions roll to the surface.
“I know. It’s weird. I have to look twice when I pass a mirror to make sure it’s me,” he jokes at me.
“Yeah...sure...right…” I’m still in shock as I study his face. “Um, what are you doing here? Packing up the rest of your stuff?” I turn back to my food.
“Not exact
ly. I want to talk to you. About the baby.”
“You want to talk? Um, okay.” I’m confused. He’s already told me he doesn’t want to be part of our little girl’s life. I know that, so what does he want to talk about?
“I want to try. I’m not promising anything, but,” he stops for a moment to collect his thoughts. “Not having you there when we won nearly ruined it. I love you, Hadley, and I want you there for those moments, so I want to try to work through my issues.”
“You want to work on your issues?” What does that exactly mean? Is it until she’s born? Will he stay after? Is it about sex? “You want to try to be there for the baby, too, right? Not just me?” I can’t hide the confusion in my voice.
“I don’t see how I can have one without the other,” he tells me in his usually serious tone. “Yes, for you and our daughter.”
He said our daughter. Any other time we’ve talked it has been ‘it’ or ‘thing’. Could he really be trying to make a change?
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m elated, but I’m in shock right now. Why the turnaround? I haven’t spoken to you since that night in your hotel room. You didn’t even text me back when I told you about our daughter. Why, Luca?” I rush out my thoughts and hope that he will open up to me.
“You’re my other half, Hadley. I don’t want to play hockey and win the Cup, only to look behind the bench and you not be there. You’re the person I want to share it with. I want to be the one you share your accomplishments with, too, not Amy or my parents. Me. So, here I am.”