“I know I should have called. I’m sure you were worried,” he offered. She remained silent but continued to rub his back. “But my life is out of control, and I’m trying to get it figured out right now. Everything has changed for me.” He ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath. “He was such a fucking mess, but I loved him. I tried to get his stubborn ass clean so many times. I threatened, I begged, I offered money, rehab—anything for him to stop. He had so much to live for.”
“It’s not your fault,” she whispered.
“It feels that way. I keep thinking there was more I could have done.”
“You did what you could. You can’t make someone quit. He knew you loved him.”
“But it wasn’t enough. He died with a fucking needle in his arm! My world is spinning, and I don’t know what to do next.”
“I know. You just lost your brother. It’s going to take time.”
He sat up at that, and stared directly into her eyes. “That’s just it. I don’t have time. I have to get my shit together now more than ever.” He stood up and reached for her hand. He pulled her down the hallway to his room and quietly opened the door. Inside the dark room, lying in bed with the blanket pulled up to her chin, was a little girl, fast asleep. When he saw the shock and confusion on Rebecca’s face, he said, “That’s Amos’s little girl, Lanie. She’s three years old and alone. All she has is me.” He closed the door and led them back into the living room.
“Amos had a-a daughter?” Rebecca stuttered. “Where is her mother?”
Sawyer shrugged. “She could be dead somewhere or high in an alley for all I know. She left shortly after Lanie was born. She was more fucked up than Amos.”
“So…”
“So, I’m all she has now. Just like that I lose my brother and become a guardian for a toddler.” He began to pace the living room. “I might not be on drugs, but I’m just as fucked up as Amos. I don’t know shit about raising a kid.”
“You’ll figure it out. You’re a good person, Sawyer.”
He shook his head. “I was just starting to get things figured out. I have a good job, and I found a wonderful woman. Now everything is fucked!”
She walked up to him and placed her small hand in his. “Why? Why is it all fucked up? You still have a good job, and you still have a wonderful woman. I’m not going anywhere.”
His heart skipped a beat as he looked into the eyes of the woman he couldn’t imagine losing. But she couldn’t be serious. What woman in her right mind would want to start off a relationship with this much baggage? “I can’t ask you to stay. It wouldn’t be fair.”
Tears welled up in her eyes again. “Don’t say that. I already thought I’d lost you, and it literally made me ill. I cried more over you than when I went through my divorce. Don’t expect me to just turn my back and walk away.”
For the first time since the terrifying phone call and Amos’s death, a hint of hope entered Sawyer’s nightmare. Was she serious? She wasn’t running away to find something a whole lot less complicated? “His little girl. She needs me. I’m all she has.”
Rebecca nodded and smiled. “Yes, she does need you. She’s going to need a lot of love, and the last time I checked, I had a lot of love to offer.” Showing a side of strength, focus and stability that Sawyer wasn’t used to seeing in her, she continued, “I’ll help you. I’ll help you in every way.”
Rebecca could have kicked herself for ever doubting Sawyer’s love for her. She should have known better, and known there had to be some sort of explanation. He wouldn’t have just left her, and it was about time she started to truly trust in the man standing before her. He was good, loving, protective, extremely alpha, and, right now, in a lot of pain. In an unexpected turn of events, he needed her more than she needed him at the moment. And there was a little girl asleep in his room who needed them both. Both. Without any doubt in her mind, she would volunteer for the job.
It was time she rediscovered the level-headed, responsible Rebecca that everyone knew. She’d lost that girl in her pot smoking, tattoo receiving, tree-climbing haze. But it was high time she put her skills to use. She pulled Sawyer over to the couch and made him sit.
Looking at him as she paced, she began. “So, the first thing we need to do is make things comfortable for Lanie.” She looked around the living room. “We need to find a larger place. This house has only one room, and it’s a real bachelor pad. We need to get her clothing and belongings from Amos’s place, and we need to—”