Secrets of the Morning (Cutler 2)

"Sure thing," he said.

"Do you know what she's done, Jimmy?" I asked, fully realizing it all myself. "She's done the same thing to my baby that she did to me. She's arranged for some other people to take her and bring her up as their own. She thinks she has the right to determine everyone's life."

Jimmy nodded.

"Well, we're going to stop it from happening this time," he said. "Don't worry about that."

"Jimmy, I don't deserve your help," I moaned. "I made promises to you when you came to see me in New York, and then I let it all go to my head, the excitement, the lights, the music, just as you were afraid I might. I told you it would never happen, could never happen, and hardly any time passed before it did. I tried to write you about it a few times, but I could never get myself to put it into words. Maybe deep inside myself I really didn't want it to be happening."

"Someone took advantage of you," Jimmy said with a wisdom that surprised me. "I've seen a lot of that sort of thing—young, impressionable girls are promised many wonderful things by older men who then take advantage of their hopes and dreams. Afterward, they're left crying and alone. Some of my army buddies were guilty of doing it," he added angrily. "I'd like to get my hands on the man who put you into this terrible spot." He turned to me. "Or do you still care for him?"

"No, Jimmy, I can't care for someone who would do the things he did."

Jimmy smiled.

"The main thing is we've got to put it all behind you now. We've got to right as many of the wrongs as we can and go on. You're still going to be a great singer someday. You'll see," he said, patting my hand.

"Right now, the most important thing to me is getting my baby back. The moment I looked at her tiny, precious face, I knew she was something good, someone to be cherished and loved. My mistakes brought her into this world and I want to make it as good a place for her as I can. You understand, don't you, Jimmy?"

"Of course, but first things first, and the first thing I want to do is get you to a store to buy you something nicer to wear. We'll get you some brushes and things and check into a motel so you can clean up and get some rest.

"I remember Grandmother Cutler, you know, and when we get to Cutler's Cove and confront her, I want you looking fresh and strong so she realizes she has a couple of tough cookies to deal with, okay?"

"Oh Jimmy, yes, yes." I hugged him and kissed his cheek.

"Hey, easy," he said. "You're kissing an expert marksman and a corporal," he said, brushing his stripes proudly. Then he turned and stuck out his chest so I could see his ribbons.

"A corporal! You got another promotion? I'm not surprised. I always knew you would succeed at whatever you did."

"Maybe I always knew you expected it," Jimmy said. "And that's what made me succeed."

I rested my head on Jimmy's shoulder as we drove on. How lucky I was to have him with me once again, I thought. Just a little while ago, I was convinced that was the most unlucky girl in the world, cursed and lost forever and ever.

And now, like the rainbow after the rain, like the first rays of sunlight coming through a break in the clouds, Jimmy had come to me and where there was once only darkness and hate, there was now brightness and love. I was confident I would get my baby back.

My eyes were closed but I saw the sunshine everywhere.

17

AN UNEXPECTED TWIST OF FATE

Jimmy was anxious to buy me new clothes and new shoes and took me to a department store as soon as we drove into a town that had one. He was very proud of being able to do it, and I saw that if I began to protest that something was too expensive, he would immediately grow upset.

"I told you," he reminded me, "I'm going to take care of you from now on. In Germany, my buddies used to call me 'the little miser,' because I didn't go out and spend every penny I earned. I saved and saved, happy just thinking about the things I would be able to buy for you as soon as I had returned.

"Besides, I like the way you look in fancy new things," he commented.

"Jimmy, you can't fool me. I know how terrible I look. I'm pale and ugly and my hair is a mess."

"First things first," he said and finished buying my clothing. Afterward, he bought me brushes and combs and lipstick. When we completed our shopping, we drove for a few hours and then pulled into a motel.

I couldn't believe how good a hot water shower felt and how wonderful it was to scrub shampoo and conditioner into my hair. I was in the shower so long, Jimmy knocked on the door to ask if I had dro

wned.

When I had had enough, I wrapped a towel around myself and poked my head out the door. He was sprawled out on one of the double beds reading a newspaper. Seeing him relaxed like that brought back memories of him unfolded over our small sofa-bed reading comic books, his dark eyebrows lifting and turning in as he read something that annoyed or touched him. For a moment I felt I could close my eyes and turn back time, and all the terrible things that had happened since we were children would be only nightmares.

"Hey," he said, lowering the paper and gazing at me. "You all right?"