“When you do today’s math homework, copy it for me,” I said. It was like offering a small bone to a starving dog.
“Oh, yes, sure. Absolutely. And I’ll be happy to make sure you understand it later.”
“That’s not important. You can hand it to me in homeroom.”
“Okay,” she said. She paused, gathering her courage. “Is there any . . .”
“There’s nothing. I can’t talk anymore, Sarah. Kaylee and I were always together after school doing our homework.”
“I’m sorry,” she said. Now she was really crying.
“Homeroom,” I told her, and hung up.
I waited another ten minutes, dabbling a bit with my hair and choosing something to wear that I liked more, and then went downstairs. Mrs. Lofter was still there, sitting in the living room.
She looked up quickly when I entered. “How are you?”
“I’m surviving, Mrs. Lofter. I don’t need a babysitter. I have to get myself together and help my father.”
She nodded and rose. “I’ll keep in touch with him and Dr. Jaffe,” she said. “I left my number on the kitchen counter should you need me for anything.”
“How kind,” I said dryly. “Do you always take such a personal interest in your patients and their families?”
“Only the ones who need it the most,” she said. “Don’t take on too much, Haylee. You’re like a pot of boiling milk emotionally right now.”
I stared a moment and then nodded. That was exactly what I was, a pot of boiling milk, but I wasn’t boiling for the reasons she thought.
“I’ve got to start on dinner,” I said. “Thank you.”
I turned and went into the kitchen. I had decided to prepare pasta with eggplant, something I knew my father liked. Kaylee usually ran lead when we were surprising our parents by making them dinner. I let her, but I knew how to do it all just as well as she did it.
I heard Mrs. Lofter leave, and then I took the slip of paper with her cell-phone number and put it in a drawer. I’d have to be really desperate before I’d call her, I thought, and went to work. An hour later, Daddy arrived. I had all the ingredients out, the salad prepared, and the table set. When he saw me, he simply stood there looking at me.
“Mrs. Lofter is gone,” I said. “She told me everything. She was very comforting.”
“Dr. Jaffe thought she was right about stepping up your mother’s care. I know how hard this is going to be for you on top of everything else, but . . .”
“We’ll be okay, Daddy. We’ll be here for each other. I’m upset that I can’t see her yet, but Mrs. Lofter explained it well. I just want to be sure you don’t get sick yourself.”
“I won’t. So? What are you doing here?”
I described our dinner.
“Okay, fantastic. I’ll shower and change and help.”
“There’s nothing for you to do. Just go into the dining room when you come down. I made that chocolate cream pie you love,” I added.
“You did?”
“It wasn’t that hard. I used to do it with Kaylee. Mother likes it, too.”
He shook his head, smiling. “You are one terrific kid, Haylee.”
“I’m more like you, Daddy. I’ve always been more like you,” I said.
He had to hug me before going up to shower and change. I looked to my side, just where Kaylee would have been standing, and I smiled. I always knew he would love me more. Maybe I’d said it. Sometimes we both voiced thoughts as part of the normal way we treated each other, so often that neither of us knew what we had thought and what we had said. We were, after all, so identical back then.
It brought a smile to my face to think, back then. Everything about us from now on might very well become back then.