Olivia (Logan 5)

"I guess I was way off the mark thinking I might make a marriage between Nelson Childs and Belinda, huh?"

"Yes, Daddy," I said, and I thought, we were both well off the mark.

I was worthless for the remainder of that day and during the days that followed. I moped about the house, hid from people and especially avoided Belinda, who floated on her own laughter and smiles as if she were made of air and the rest of us were lumps of clay. She went on and on about the wonderful life she and Carson were going to have, the home she would have him build, the clothing, the cars, the trips she had planned.

"We have decided . . . actually, I have decided . . . that we should go to Bermuda for our honeymoon. We're going to stay in the most expensive hotel, too. I went to the travel agency and I told them to find me the best and not to be concerned about cost. Just charge it to Carson McGil. I'll have to get used to saying that now, won't I, Olivia?" She smiled. "Just charge it please, charge it to Carson McGil."

"When you marry someone, Belinda, you care about him. You don't set out to bankrupt him or hurt him in any way. You and he are supposed to be together, for better or for worse. You're supposed to look out for each other," I lectured.

"That's ridiculous. I shouldn't, have to look out for him. He should always look out for me, protect me, provide for me, want to do everything possible to make me happy," she retorted.

"And you do nothing to make him happy?"

"If I'm happy, he'll be happy; if I'm sad, he'll be sad," she threatened. "Carson's already learned that and accepted it. He knows if he wants me, he takes me as I am, and, dear sister, he wants me, wants me very, very much."

She giggled and whispered.

"I've been promising him the greatest of honeymoon nights, pleasure beyond his wildest imagination, and you should see the way he drools. I swear his tongue dangles like a dog's sometimes. He treats every one of my kisses as if each was a jewel, so I deliberately don't kiss him very often. He thinks I'm terrified of sex."

I shook my head and she grimaced.

"I won't be unhappy, Olivia," she insisted, pursing her lips. "I'm doing all this, marrying Carson because it's good for the family, but I don't have to be unhappy too, do I?"

"Perish the thought," I said. "In the beginning I actually felt sorry for you, Belinda. I thought you might be doing something you really don't want to do, but now I realize Carson's the one I should feel sorry for, not you."

"That's dreadful. What a dreadful thing to say." She smiled, her eyes twinkling in the moonlight. "I hear the ding-dong of jealousy," she sang.

"That's not true."

"Ding-dong, ding-dong."

"Stop it!"

"Well, stop trying to make me feel bad. Carson is very happy he has me. If you ask him today, he'll tell you he's the luckiest man in the world. He probably is. He's getting the woman of his dreams," she added and went off believing in her own propaganda.

She was far from the woman of his dreams. It sickened me to think all men were as gullible and blind as Carson McGil, but that's the way it looked to me now. Even Nelson Childs was beguiled by my sister.

One Saturday afternoon soon after, Carson came calling on Belinda to take her on a shopping spree in Boston. She had already bragged to me how much of his money she would spend and how she would insist he take her to one of the fanciest restaurants in the city. Then she would fall asleep in the car and leave him to d

rive her home like a chauffeur.

"And," she added with confidence, "he's happy to do it."

Daddy was fishing with some of his business associates and Mother was upstairs in her room, nursing another one of her bad stomachaches. They were coming more frequently lately. She blamed it on her own nervousness concerning Belinda's impending wedding and all the preparations. I believed her.

Carmelita let Carson in and had him wait in the sitting room. I was in Daddy's den reviewing some bills he had asked me to check. I heard the doorbell, listened and then went back to my work. Moments later, however, I was surprised when Carson came to the den door and looked in on me.

"Oh, sorry if I disturbed you," he said with a weak smile. "I'm just waiting for Belinda. She's late," he added.

"As usual," I said. "It's all right, Carson. Come in, please," I said sitting back in Daddy's oversized leather chair. I'm sure I looked like Goldilocks sitting in Papa Bear's chair.

"This is a nice den and office. It has . . . personality. I can see your father here. The room fits him like a glove," he muttered, his eyes darting about, avoiding mine. Why did my presence make him so nervous? I wondered.

"Is everything all right between you and Belinda?" I asked directly.

He turned sharply and nodded.

"Oh, yes, sure. It's just an exciting time for both of us. She so much wants to do the right thing," he added. "Finally," I muttered.