"So you won't be going to the wedding then?" I asked. She paused and smiled at me.
"No, Olivia. You can have him all to yourself." I felt the heat rise up my neck and into my face. "That's not funny anymore, Belinda. I wasn't the one in the boathouse. You were."
"Yes, but you wished you were," she countered.
I felt as if the air around us had grown too hot to breathe.
"Your husband knows how you feel about Nelson," she continued.
"Did you say something stupid to Samuel?"
"No, but he knows. I can tell." She started to pack again. "You and he aren't exactly sweethearts, sleeping in separate rooms in separate beds."
"That's none of your affair."
"No," she said laughing. "It's not and I'm glad, but maybe you're not giving Samuel enough of a chance to prove himself," she went on, defying my fury. "Maybe if you did, you wouldn't dream so much about Nelson Childs."
"Stop it!"
"All I'm saying is I think Samuel is . . . could be a good lover. Isn't he?"
"I won't continue this stupid conversation any longer, but I warn you, if you should say any of this rubbish to anyone and I hear about it . . ."
"You'll throw me out of the family. I know," she said. "Don't worry. I don't care enough to say anything. I'm too busy having fun."
"At our expense. Don't you ever want to make anything of your life?" I asked her.
"I think I am," she said. "I'm making a good time of it."
I left her and went to complain to Daddy who simply shook his head.
"She'll settle down soon, Olivia," he muttered. "You'll see."
"You're lying to yourself, Daddy. That's worse than lying to other people."
He just stared blankly at me. He had lost so much weight and was so pale and tired these days. I didn't have the heart to badger him about Belinda anymore. Let her destroy herself, I thought and put it out of mind.
Instead, I wanted to think of what I would wear and how I would look at Nelson Childs' wedding. Nothing I had in my closet looked good enough to me. I had to have something special. In the back of my mind, I hoped Nelson would glance at me and think that maybe he did miss his chance. He could have had someone attractive and intelligent. He could have had a perfect partner, someone who would have helped him become all that he was capable of becoming instead of just marrying some socialite.
I recalled the dressmaker Mother had gone to when she wanted something special for Belinda's graduation. She showed me some of the latest fashions and designed a gown for me. When I saw what she intended, I couldn't help thinking Belinda would cry green tears when she saw it. It was an emerald green chiffon with sequins down both sides of the V-neck that plunged into the valley of my bosom and sequins on the cuffs of my sleeves. I had a teardrop diamond necklace with matching earrings to complement it and I went shopping to find the perfect pair of matching shoes. Then, I had my hair styled and my nails done, something I had never befor
e had done by a professional beautician.
"You're doing more preparation as a guest of a wedding than you did for your own," Samuel quipped. He smiled, but I wondered what was behind those laughing eyes. Many a truth was said in jest and who knew what Belinda had really said to him?
"You think you would be proud of me," I replied, looking away.
"Oh I am. Once again, we'll steal the limelight from Nelson and Louise. Why, that woman's going to come to hate you, Olivia."
"I hardly think so," I said, but in my secret place deep in my own heart, I hoped he was right, but not because I stole the limelight at her wedding, but because I stole the light in Nelson Childs' heart.
12
The Wedding
She Wanted
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