"Your door, Olivia, has been locked for months and months now. I've respected it and I haven't pushed myself on you, but it's not natural for a man and a woman to live like this when they're married," he said. Then he sat back. "Did you know that Louise Childs is pregnant again? There are no locked doors in that marriage."
"Oh, so that's it. You're afraid Nelson Childs will pull ahead of you in this baby-making contest," I accused.
"No, that's not it, Olivia. My God! I have needs, male needs, and I can't imagine why you don't have female needs. All these months . . you were never once attracted, interested in me?"
He looked amazed, even hurt. I softened and sat back to sip my coffee.
"I've just been very occupied, Samuel. It has nothing to do with you."
"What do you mean it has nothing to do with me? How do you think I've felt all this time? You go to sleep at night. You put aside your work and worries for a little while, don't you?" He glared at me. "Well?"
r /> "I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't have relations on my mind."
"On your mind?" He laughed and then leaned forward, his hands folded, his arms on the table. "I hope that door's not locked tonight," he said. It couldn't have sounded more like a threat. I felt the heat rise to my face and my heart began to thump.
"Don't take that tone with me, Samuel. I won't have it. I'm not anyone's plaything."
He snorted.
"Plaything? You're about as far away from being that as . . . as a nun."
"That's enough. Change the topic," I ordered. I turned away from him.
I felt him glaring at me a moment and then he rose and left the room. I sat there, trembling. How could he speak to me like that? What had given him the courage?
Miss Hot and Miss Cold . . I could hear the children chanting it at us. Was it still true for me? Samuel was far from an ugly man and most of the women I knew flirted with him and probably fantasized about him. Why I should be so indifferent, I didn't know, but I couldn't help how I was, could I? Surely, I wouldn't have become like this if I had married Nelson, I thought. Or would I?
That night, I fingered the lock on the adjoining door, but in the end, I didn't unlock it. I went to bed with it remaining in place. After I had put out the lights, I heard Samuel try the door and then curse under his breath. Following dinner he had gone to the den and had sat for the remainder of the evening drinking brandy. He had his back to the door and didn't turn when I looked in on him before going up to sleep.
I started to drift off when I heard what sounded like a key go into the lock on my bedroom door. I opened my eyes and listened and then I saw the door open.
"Who's there?" I cried sitting up as the light spilled in from the hallway.
"Only your husband," Samuel said with a short, cold laugh. "Remember me?"
"You have a key to my room? What are you doing?"
He approached the bed, wearing a robe and then he undid the belt of the robe and let it fall to the floor. He was naked.
"Samuel, you stop this. You turn right around."
"I won't be denied my rights," he declared and crawled into the bed beside me. I tried to get out on the other side, but he seized me around the waist and held me tightly to him. I could smell the brandy on his breath. It nearly turned my stomach.
"Samuel!"
"You just forgot how good it could be, Olivia. I'm here to help revive your memory," he said and laughed.
I tried to push him away, but he was too strong and too determined.
"I swear if you don't cooperate, I'll tell everyone. I'll tell your father. I'll tell your sister. I will," he promised. "And you know what a big mouth she has. I'll even tell Nelson," he added, "so he won't tease me anymore."
My breath caught and my heart stopped and started.
There was nothing to do but stop resisting and lay back. Once I did that, he was at me like a sailor stranded in his boat for weeks who had run out of fresh water and finally been given a glass.
"There," he said after he had spent himself in me, "wasn't that good? Aren't you sorry you've not had more of it?"
I turned my back to him.