“Father’s still my father, but Mother didn’t give birth to me. I was a mistake, don’t you see? I’m the reason Mother and Father hated each other. I’m the reason for all their fights”
Penny stared. She looked shocked, and I found it hard to believe she didn’t know any of this. I thought they all knew I was an outcast, not quite their real sister—only halfway a part of this family at best.
That had been my excuse for so long. I wasn’t one of them, not really, not entirely. That was why they treated me like a freak. It made everything I did so much easier.
But what if I was wrong? And I was the problem all along?
I couldn’t stomach the idea.
“You’re not the reason they fought.”
I dug my fingers into the railing. “It’s okay, you don’t—”
“You’re not the reason,” she said sharply. “Mother and Father fought because they were always a terrible match. Father only married her out of political convenience and because her family had money, and Mother wanted a man that could keep her rich and happy. It was doomed from the start. You had nothing to do with it.”
“I’m sure that’s all true, but I didn’t help.”
Penny faced me, hands on her hips. “I’m not forgiving you,” she said, glaring at me. “What you did isn’t something I can forgive. But I swear, Erin, you’re my sister, full sister or not, it doesn’t matter. Mom and Dad hated each other because of their own issues and it had nothing to do with you.”
I blinked back tears. “I don’t need you to forgive me.”
“Yes, you do. That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?”
“I want Kaspar to leave Redmond alone.”
“Bullshit. You could’ve had the boys hash it out. Instead, you wanted to talk to me.”
I nodded, hanging my head. “Fine. You got me. Does that make you feel good?”
“Not in the slightest.” She deflated and leaned against the railing, looking haggard. “It’s the first time I ever won a fight against you and I can’t even savor it.”
“Pyrrhic victory. Doesn’t count.”
“Shut up.” She sighed and touched my arm. “I won’t forgive you for what you did to me, but you’ll always be my sister. I don’t care if we don’t have the same mother.”
Fat tears rolled down my cheeks. “God, I don’t think I’ve ever cried this much in my life.”
“Sounds like you’re growing as a person. What happened?”
“I met Redmond.” I shook my head and smiled, wiping away the tears. “I know you won’t forgive me, but I promise I’ll be a better sister.”
“No more trying to sell me to the Oligarchs?”
“I can’t make that promise.”
She laughed and pushed away, stepping back toward the SUV. “I’ll tell Kaspar to leave you alone, and when this is over, come find me. But make sure you’re finished changing into whatever you’re becoming, okay? I think I like this Erin a lot better than the old one.”
“I bet you do. The old one was a bastard.”
“The new one’s just okay.” She waved and walked off.
I watched her go. She stepped into the SUV and it drove off into the night. I turned to the river again, wiping my face with both hands as the door to the Rover opened and someone approached.
“You okay?” Redmond’s voice.
“I’m fine. Just tired.”
“That didn’t look like it went well.”
“It did, actually. Penny’s going to make sure Kaspar leaves us alone.”
“That’s good.” He sounded more concerned than excited. “Where does that leave you?”
“Great question.” I faced him and let him see that I’d been crying. “I’ve had a shitty night. Can we go home?”
“I can manage that.”
He came to me and put his arm around my shoulder. I leaned against him, feeling so pathetic and weak—and safe and happy. It was a contradiction, the split down the center of me, the two different versions of Erin that I was becoming.
I didn’t know which would win out as Redmond steered me back to the car.
Chapter 20
Redmond
Erin was quiet after the meeting with her sister. I didn’t want to push, even if I was intensely interested in what they’d said. Palmira made small talk on the way back to the hotel, joking about the Oligarchs and their petty squabbles, but none of her teasing got any response.
“Keep an eye on the hotel tonight,” I said to Palm as we went inside. Erin walked straight to the elevators.
“You think they’ll try something?”
“Not Kaspar, but I have a bad feeling.” I shook my head, unable to explain it. “Just stick around.”
“Will do, boss.” She gave me a mock salute and I saluted her back, smiling.
Erin stood close to me on the elevator ride up. I leaned my head against the glass wall and stared at the numbers ticking by until we reached our floor. Erin headed straight inside, into the bedroom, and shut the door.