She looked happy. She looked healthy. Her skin shone and her hair was twisted up in a bun, and she walked with a certainty and a confidence I didn’t remember at all.
The Penny I knew was shy and quiet. She was the weakest. But this woman was different.
“I’m surprised you showed,” she said as she joined me at the railing.
“I’m surprised you did too.”
“Kaspar didn’t want to let me.” She smiled ruefully. “I told him to go to hell and that he didn’t own me.”
“How’d that work out?”
“I’m here.” She spread her hands and eyed me sideways. “You look like shit.”
I laughed and tugged at my hair. “Funny. I was just thinking that you looked good.”
“Funny,” she echoed, shaking her head. “How’s Redmond treating you?”
“He’d fine. I’m not his captive.”
“Fiancée, right? Sounds familiar.” She sighed and looked at the water. “We keep ending up like this.”
“Like what?”
“Paired off to these men.”
“I’m not paired off to Redmond.” I heard the anger in my voice and had to take a few deep breaths. I didn’t want our meeting to go like this.
She only smiled and shrugged. “Whatever you say.”
I glared at the water, struggling to find my calm again. “Why did Kaspar get involved with our business?”
“He’s annoyed about what happened and he thinks you’re dangerous.” Penny glanced at me sideways. “He’s right, you are dangerous. But something’s different about you.”
“Nothing’s different,” I said, hearing the defensiveness in my tone. I had changed in ways I didn’t fully understand yet ever since I started this with Redmond, but I wasn’t ready to face that, not yet. “We aren’t going to bother you and Kaspar. None of the others need to concern themselves.”
Penny tapped her nails on the railing. “When you have what’s left of Maeve’s family, what then? Will you marry Redmond?”
I felt color rise in my cheeks. “Yes, I will.”
“So you’re doing this for him?”
“I’m doing this for me. I’m going to run Maeve’s business.”
“With Redmond as your husband.”
“What do you care?” I turned on her, seething.
She smiled. “Because I’m worried you’re giving up too much. You’ve worked hard to get where you are. You sold me to Kaspar. Suddenly you’re allying yourself with Redmond? I don’t buy it.”
I curled my hands into fists. “This is my last option. Either I work with him, or I end up crushed by some bigger fish. I’m smart enough to realize when I’m not strong enough to win.”
We lapsed into silence. I didn’t understand why I let her push me so easily. I’d never been so emotional before in my life, but things were crumbling—the cracks were forming—and I didn’t know how to keep myself together.
I looked up at the sky. Clouds drifted across the moon.
“I met someone like us,” I said softly. “A boy named Neil. He was young. Maeve’s nephew. He wanted to get away from all this violence.”
“I heard about him. He’s dead, right?”
“He was like us,” I said again, emphasizing the last part. “And now he’s dead. Never got a chance to get away. Never got the chance to live.”
“What are you saying, Erin?” She sounded tired and sad.
“He’s like me and you and Livvie. And all the others forced to go along with what the families want. It’s all a self-perpetuating nightmare, and I want to do something to change it.”
She looked at me, frowning. “Like what?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know. Something.”
“Well, if anyone can change the world, it’s you.”
I smiled bitterly. We lapsed into silence again. I guessed Kaspar and Redmond were both getting anxious, but I didn’t want to leave Penny. Not before I said that I’d come to say.
I closed my eyes. “I’m sorry, you know. About everything.”
“Are you?” She sounded surprised. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you apologize before.”
“It was hard for me, growing up. I knew I was different.”
“Being smart isn’t an excuse—”
“I don’t mean that,” I said, shaking my head. “The other thing. The way father treated me. The way mother used to pretend as though I didn’t exist. And the way all of you stared at me like a freak.”
Penny looked confused. If she was acting, she was good at it, but Penny had never been good at hiding how she felt.
“What are you talking about?”
“I didn’t know until I got older,” I said, unable to look at her, the girl I thought of as a sister. “I figured it out after a while and I asked Daddy, and he said it was true. Do you have any clue how it feels?” I looked at her, the girl I grew up with, the girl I always believed was my sister. “Can you imagine what it’s like to find out that your family isn’t your family?”
Her mouth fell open and her eyes screwed up. She shook her head. “You have our eyes.”