Bad Ideas (First & Forever 4)

I slid under the covers with him, and he kept clinging to me as he whispered, “What about you? I was the only one who got to finish.”

“Next time. Tonight, I just wanted to make you feel good.” I kissed his forehead, and he fell asleep a few seconds later.

As I shifted a bit to settle in, I sighed contentedly. I had no idea which version of him I was going to wake up to, but it didn’t really matter. The buttoned down doctor from work and the cute little rocker boy who took over in his free time were both pretty great.

The next morning, Theo was once again the first thing I saw when I raised an eyelid. This time though, he wasn’t poking me with a stick.

He was dressed in a neatly pressed suit with every hair in place, and he was sitting in an upholstered chair by the window, reading a paperback. He’d pulled back the curtain just an inch, and a swath of sunlight drew a line diagonally across his face, from his dark, glossy hair past his thick eyelashes to his full lips. I took a few moments to openly admire him before I sat up.

As soon as I moved, his eyes darted to me. There was worry in them. Predictably, he tried to hide it as he quickly set aside the book and stood up. “Hi,” he said. “Um, how do you take your coffee?”

“Same as you, with cream and sugar.”

He headed for the door. “Meet me in the kitchen whenever you’re ready. It’s at the back of the ground floor. No hurry. I’m not due at work for another forty minutes.”

I got out of bed and stretched. Then I called, “Look out,” a second before he bounced off the doorframe. That might have had something to do with the fact that I was naked, and he’d been watching me over his shoulder.

“I’m fine,” he murmured as he tried again. This time, he made it through the open doorway. I couldn’t help but grin as I went to get dressed.

A few minutes later, I dropped my backpack in the foyer, then went in search of the kitchen. It turned out to be vintage and charming, with white cabinets and a blue mosaic backsplash. Like the rest of the house, a lot of plants were clustered in front of the windows in the dining area.

Theo handed me a cup of coffee as I looked around curiously, and he asked, “Would you like some breakfast?”

“No thanks. I’m going straight to the gym after I go home and change. I usually eat after I work out, not before, but if you want to make yourself something don’t let me stop you.”

“I ate earlier. I’ve been up for a while.”

“Why didn’t you wake me up? I must be keeping you from getting to work early.”

“It’s fine. I’m not in a hurry to get there today.” He lowered his gaze and admitted, “I wasn’t in a hurry to get there the last time you spent the night, either. I just didn’t quite know how to deal with the whole morning after thing, so I made up an excuse to get you out of here.”

“I know.”

He glanced at me and asked, “You do?”

“Yeah, and I totally understand. I also respond to the direct approach, by the way—you can just tell me to get out of your house because you’re sick of me.”

I’d been trying to be funny, but he frowned and said, “I wasn’t sick of you. I just…” He seemed so insecure when he met my gaze and admitted, “I don’t know what I’m doing, Casey, and all you’re getting are mixed messages. I’m pushing you away with one hand and pulling you to me with the other, and that’s really unfair to you.”

I put down the cup of coffee and came up to him. He was leaning against the edge of the counter, and he ducked his head as I ran my hands down his arms. “In case I haven’t made it clear, I want you, Theo. I have no idea what you’ve been through in the past, but I get that it’s hard for you to open up to people. We’re in no hurry, though, and I’m totally willing to go at your pace.”

“You’re going to realize this is a bad idea.” He sounded so defeated when he said that. “It’s only been a few days, so you’re not bothered by the whiplash yet. But you will be. You’ll get tired of the way I run hot and cold, and you’ll go off and find yourself someone like you—someone who’s consistent, and open, and trusting. Someone who isn’t broken.”

I wrapped my arms around him, and he tucked his head into the curve of my neck and shoulder as I told him, “I’m not going anywhere, Theo.”