Bad Ideas (First & Forever 4)

“You can’t say that. It’s only been a few days, and you barely know me.”

“Actually, I’ve worked with you for almost a year.”

He leaned back to look at me, frowning as he said, “And you hated me for most of that.”

“I never hated you. I did find you annoying, but that was a two-way street.”

I grinned when I said that, but he remained serious. “I push everyone away at work, but I pushed you even harder. I never knew what to do with the fact that I was attracted to you.”

“You were?”

“Don’t sound so surprised. You’re gorgeous, Casey. You’re also warm, and kind, and charismatic, and when we hooked up at the Christmas party, that wasn’t just random. Not for me, anyway. I’d wanted you for so long. And you were right about what you said that night—I was overcome with jealousy when you showed up with two beautiful men as your date. That’s what made me lash out the way I did.”

“They’re my housemates,” I told him, “and that wasn’t even sort of a date. I just felt bad about leaving them out, when Yolanda and her girlfriend and I were all getting ready to go to a fancy party. Inviting them was a spur-of-the-moment thing. Then they both felt nervous when we walked into that ballroom filled with hundreds of strangers, and that’s why they were clinging to me.”

“Good to know.” He sighed and tried to duck his head again. “It’s still ridiculous that I was so angry and jealous, though. You weren’t mine. I had no claim on you.”

I tilted his chin up and said, “Now you do. I’m yours if you want me, Theo.”

His eyes searched mine as he asked, “What could you possibly see in me? I don’t even understand why you decided to have sex with me the night of the holiday party.”

“I’ve always thought you’re beautiful, but I’d wrongly assumed you were cold and emotionless. That night, you showed me your passionate side. It was the first time you ever gave me a glimpse of the real you, and I was drawn to your spark and your fire. It was irresistible.”

A lopsided grin curved a corner of his lips, and then he pulled me down with a hand on the back of my neck and kissed me. We got lost in each other for a while, and when we finally parted it was just by a couple of inches.

He cupped my face between his palms as he said, very softly, “Please don’t give up on me, Casey. It’s so hard to let anyone get close to me. I’m not ready to talk about why that is, but just know I’m trying.” I smiled at him, right before his lips met mine again.

We lingered in his kitchen as long as we could, but eventually Theo had to go to work. I was still grinning when I got home. As I put my backpack on the bench by the door, Yolanda called from the living room, “I’m incapable of picturing you and Doctor Koenig making out.” I went to join her as she added, “When I was a teenager, I had a life-size cardboard cutout of Joan Jett in my bedroom, and I’d kiss her sometimes. I’d imagine it’s exactly like that.”

I chuckled as I dropped onto the chair across the coffee table from her. She was dressed in oversized sweats, was holding a cup of tea with both hands, and was wearing her glasses, which meant she hadn’t been awake long enough to mess with contacts.

“Joan Jett, huh? I can see that. I’d make out with her too, and I’m not even bi.”

“Is this thing with you and Koenig serious?”

“It’s getting there,” I said, as I leaned back and crossed my ankle over my knee. “We had a great talk this morning.”

“That surprises me. I thought maybe it was just physical.”

“It was at first. The thing is, sex is the easy part. I think he was used to anonymous hookups, probably the kind I was being offered on that dating app. It’s one thing to fuck, but it’s actually a lot harder for him to let his guard down and have a real conversation. That’s why today felt like a breakthrough.”

“I get that, actually,” she said. “Before I met JoJo, I was all about casual hookups. It took falling in love to finally realize what true intimacy is all about.”

“Speaking of your better half, is she still asleep?”

Yolanda nodded. “She worked really late last night, because she’s trying to fill all the holiday orders from her online shop. She has about one more week of crunch time. Then she’ll need to ship everything out to make sure it gets there by Christmas.”

“Hopefully she’ll get to relax after that.”

“I’m planning to take her on a little getaway, so that should help. I have two days off in a row the Wednesday and Thursday before Christmas, and I was able to get us a reservation at that bed and breakfast where I won the gift certificate.”