Beautifully Broken

What am I going to do if Jason figures out I’m illegally in the country?

What if he finds out my identity is fake?

I hide in my room until I hear his car leave. Then Annie knocks on the door, and coming inside, she opens her arms wide. I rush into her motherly embrace and feel a sliver of relief as she hugs me tightly.

I can’t keep all the stress and feelings bottled up any longer. Tears well in my eyes and spill over my cheeks. Gripping hold of her, I cry because I don’t want to lose her as well. I don’t want to be pregnant with a rapist’s child. I just want some peace. Is that too much to ask?

“It’s okay,” she coos. “It’s okay, honey. I should’ve known better. The boy is as harmless as those pigeons pooping up a storm on the porch. He won’t hurt a fly,” she sniffs. “We’re a family now, and family sticks together.”

I hold Annie tighter, her words a soothing balm to my tattered soul that can’t take much more.

During the past week, I’ve come to care for this woman dearly. I really want this to be my home.

Later that night, I’m sitting out on the porch with Annie, worry still gnawing at my insides even though she assured me everything will be okay.

It’s a balmy evening, and the stars are clear out here.

For the first time in my life, I feel compelled to share my story with someone, if only to lessen the burden on my shoulders.

“I was eighteen when my parents died. It was a boating accident,” I murmur, my eyes locked on the twinkling stars. “We always went out on the dam, just drifting, talking, sleeping. That day I woke up to a loud bang. There was blood, and then the pain came. When I woke up again, my uncle told me my parents were dead. I didn’t even get to go to their funerals. The propellers of the boat had sliced through my back. People saw what happened and fished me out. They said I was lucky.” I let out a burst of hollow laughter. “Lucky.”

I take a shuddering breath before I continue, “My uncle gave me my mother’s name and told me to run… and I did.”

For a moment, there’s only the sound of a cricket chirping nearby.

“I disappeared for so long,” my voice sounds hauntingly empty, as empty as my life has been. “For seven years, all I did was run. But then I forgot what I was running from. I was stupid, and they found me.”

I hear an owl hoot and listen until it stops.

“Then he found me. He saved me in so many ways, and I felt safe with him.”

God, I miss Damian. So much.

Letting out a hopeless sigh, I whisper, “Now I’m just a fading star amongst all the bright ones.”

Still, Annie doesn’t say anything, and it encourages me to admit, “All I want… ever wanted, is to belong and to have someone who I can call mine. Life really sucks.” I let out a bitter chuckle. “All I want is love, and all I get is people trying to kill me and take away what peace I manage to find in between.”

For a long moment, silence fills the air, and then Annie whispers, “Sometimes, you just look like a fading star because you burn slower and deeper. You’re not an all-consuming star. Your light will shine for longer, and it will shine strong, honey. Yours will still shine long after those bright ones have burned out.”

She gets up and places her calloused hand on my shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “We’ll keep shining together, you and me, child. Because I have no intention of burning out on you. You find that peace you’ve been looking for here with me.”

Emotions well up in my chest, and biting my bottom lip, I nod at her. Annie heads inside, giving me some alone time, and I sit outside for a while, staring at the stars.

I look for the ones that are the faintest.

Annie’s and mine.

Chapter 18

CARA

I haven’t even rinsed my coffee cup when a car comes up the road, driving up whirls of dust.

“Don’t hide,” I hear Annie saying from the porch outside. “You come and rest your behind here next to me. Don’t give the boy a reason to ask questions. You hear me?”

“Yes, Annie,” I murmur, trying to ignore the fear coiling in my stomach.

I dry my hands and rush outside, then sit down beside Annie. My heart is going crazy as my eyes lock on the patrol car.

“Smile, honey,” Annie whispers. “Think of rainbows and butterflies.”

I force a smile to my face, but no amount of rainbows and butterflies will stop my stomach from spinning into chaos as Jason takes the two steps up to the porch.