It was a bold choice for a Thursday night, but that was Dakota. She was six feet tall and had legs that came up to my armpits. She wasn’t much for drama, except when it came to her style. She embraced her height and dancer’s figure.
“The last time I saw Maddox he was eighteen,” I told them, pausing to take a sip of water. Anymore I never had anything to contribute to conversations about dating, so I wanted to draw out the impact. “He was skinny, quiet, into Dungeons and Dragons.”
“Those guys always have huge dicks,” Dakota said.
She wasn’t wrong in Maddox’s case. My cheeks burned as I pictured him in the shower, water running down those abs and right over a very impressive cock…
“I think that’s off-topic,” Felicia said.
“Not if you look at Savannah’s face,” Leah said, sounding very gleeful.
“I didn’t have sex with him,” I said, pointing a finger at Isla. “So don’t start reprimanding me. But yes, his dick is impressive and I know that because he told me to take a nap and when I woke up Sully was gone. In my mom panic I barged in on him in the shower.”
“Where was the baby?” Felicia asked.
“In the shower with him.” I put my hands on my cheeks. “Girls. Maddox is big and muscular and tattooed everywhere.”
“Everywhere?” Dakota asked. “What’s tattooed on his dick? I always wondered how they do that. I mean, depending on whether you’re hard or limp the art is going to look different.”
That momentarily distracted me. I wasn’t sure I could jump on a tattooed dick. Not that I was jumping on Maddox’s. But I thought it might be a little unnerving. “What? No. His you-know is not tattooed. But a lot of the rest of him is and he’s like this bad boy and it was shocking. I mean, I thought of him as a kid brother.”
“And now you don’t?” Leah looked around. “Where the hell is the waitress? It took me a fucking hour and a half to get here on the train. I want a glass of wine.”
“Have Grant’s driver pick you up,” Isla said with a smirk.
“Ew. Don’t be weird.”
“It’s not weird for your billionaire fiancé to take care of you,” I reassured her.
“It’s even weirder when you put it like that.”
“I would let my billionaire fiancé send a car for me.”
“You would let a prisoner put you on his visitor list,” Isla said.
That made me laugh. “No, I would not. But anyway, back to my story, thank you very much. I saw Maddox and he’s all man and flirty and cute with my son and I cannot, under any circumstances, go there. So I think I need to start dating again. I need you all to pick out my dates for me, because we all know
I can’t be trusted not to find the biggest douchebags ever.”
“That’s a lot to unwrap,” Felicia said. “Can we start back at the beginning? So you’re attracted to Maddox the manny?”
I nodded. My mouth practically watered. “I opened the door and I actually got flustered. Like, my basement flooded, if you know what I mean. I didn’t even know I could get turned on anymore. But now I know I can, so it’s clearly time to start dating.”
“I feel there are some leaps in logic there,” Felicia said. “One, why can’t you date the nanny? Two, why do you need to date? Can’t you just find a hookup?”
I eyed her. “It’s like you don’t even know me at all. I don’t do casual sex. I don’t even know how to do casual sex. I’ve tried and I’ve ended up spending six days straight in the Caribbean with the guy who was supposed to be a one-night stand!”
“Oh, God,” Isla said, shaking her head. “I remember what will forever be known as the Dante Debacle.”
“I need to date, old-school. Find a guy to be in a relationship with, at least for awhile. Have some nice sex, and settle in for a couple of years.” If not forever. But they’d protest miserably if I said that out loud.
“What about the nanny?” Dakota asked. “Since he’s hung.”
“Are you crazy?” Leah asked. “She just said she can’t do friends with benefits. We all know that is one hundred percent true. She cannot have a man living with her for two months, watching her baby, while she complicates the hell out of it by falling in love with him.”
That made me protest. “I wouldn’t fall in love with him!”
The waitress finally appeared and all conversation ground to a halt so Leah could get her wine order in first. Dakota ordered a bourbon on the rocks, which made my throat burn just thinking about. Felicia got a martini and Isla a craft beer. I felt sorry for myself as I ordered an iced tea.