Five First Dates (Sassy in the City 2)

I was basically done with this conversation. My brother was making it sound like what we’d been doing was somehow cheap or disgusting and I was not going to be slut shamed by my own brother. “Steven, listen to me. Your sex life is your own business. I don’t ask and I don’t care who was in your bed last night. I know this might seem weird to you because Maddox is your best friend, but he’s my friend too, and friends can do whatever they want if everyone is on board with it, and it has absolutely nothing to do with you, so stay out of it.”

“You’re going to end up pregnant again and alone.”

Tears stung my eyes and my lip started to tremble. My brother thought I was an idiot that no one could love. Wow.

I ended the call without a word. I was too hurt to find any words to express how I felt.

After crying for half an hour, I texted my co-worker Simone who had gone through a custody fight and asked for her lawyer’s info so I could make an appointment to review the document from Adam.

Then I lay down on my bed with Sully and let him crawl all over me.

Talk about going from an all-time high the night before to so low I could win the limbo.

I got back to Brooklyn around eleven and as I walked from the bus to the apartment I texted Savannah. I didn’t want to scare her when I came into the apartment since I wasn’t supposed to be back until the next day.

Hey, be at the apt in 5. Don’t want to scare you.

Thought you were coming back tomorrow?

I want to see you.

She didn’t respond to that. I had no idea what that meant other than she might already be in bed and I was disturbing her sleep. Or it could mean she didn’t want to see me.

The apartment was dark, so I reached over and turned on the lamp by the couch. The place was messier than usual. Savannah and Sully were clearly in bed because of how quiet the apartment was, but there were toys all over the floor and a plate on the coffee table, which wasn’t typical. Savannah usually cleaned up at the end of the day. Meeting with her ex must have been emotionally draining.

I dropped my backpack and kicked off my shoes. I washed my hands and face in the bathroom, and shucked my shirt. I was planning to crawl into bed with her, figuring we’d reached that point, when she came out of the bedroom and pulled the door carefully shut behind her.

“Hey,” she said, leaning on the bathroom doorframe in her baggy joggers and a T-shirt. Her hair was messy and her eyes were bloodshot, her face swollen.

I had a sneaking suspicion she’d been crying.

“Are you okay?” I asked, going to her and pulling her against me. She didn’t wrap her arms around me but let me hold her. “Isla told me your ex showed up here. I’m sorry you had to deal with that alone. If you want me to track him down and punch him, I will.” I was only half kidding.

Her fingers were flat against my chest. She sighed. “Not worth risking assault charges. It wasn’t fun but it wasn’t horrible either. He’s just such an ass and I feel terrible that he doesn’t want Sully at all. He wants to sign away his parental rights.”

My reaction was probably wrong, but I was relieved. “How do you feel about that?”

/> “I don’t want him showing up at random intervals, so I guess in the end this is best, but I still feel sad for my son. It’s not fair that my poor choices mean he won’t have a father.”

I stroked her arms. “Savannah, it’s not your fault. It’s your ex’s fault. You couldn’t have predicted his reaction to finding out you were pregnant. Some guys can man up, others can’t.”

She sniffled. “You and me… this is a bad idea, Maddox.”

I stiffened and pulled back to study her face. She had tears in her eyes. “What are you talking about? Is this because of your brother? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for him to find out but I was talking to Isla when she called me about your ex and he overheard the conversation.”

“Steven called me. He’s pissed at both of us. You for taking advantage of me and me for being stupid enough to fall for it.” She shook her head and her voice trembled. “That’s how highly my brother thinks of both of us, which is insulting. No, I’m not worried about Steven’s opinion right now.”

“Then what is it?” I took her hand. “Come here. Let’s sit down. We don’t want to have this conversation in the bathroom.”

My gut was tight and I was trying to stay calm, rational. Talk her down off whatever ledge she’d climbed onto as a result of her ex and her brother. She’d been all on board the night before.

We sat down and she pulled her legs under her.

“I agree that we could have talked more about what was happening, what this means,” I said. “Because just to be clear, what I want is you. I’m in love with you and I want to be with you, in a relationship. Indefinitely. I love Sully and I will treat him like my own flesh and blood. I have a good example in my own stepfather and I know I’m capable of that.” I took her hand and kissed the back of it. “I love you, Savannah.”

The tears slid down her cheeks. “I believe you. I believe you mean that. Now. But what happens in a year when all your friends are out partying and you’re stuck at home with a girlfriend and a toddler?”

That took me aback. “What are you talking about? When did I ever say I wanted to party? Do you see me partying now?”