“Hi Mrs. Davis, ready to have your baby, I see.”
“Yep, she’s like a burst pipe, she’s leaking so much,” Jimmy blurts out.
“That’s normal. Follow me.”
Still in Jimmy’s arms, we walk down the hall into a room that is decorated in passion pink. Jimmy groans and I want to bleach my eyes. Who, in their right mind, decorates like this? Do they think all women are the same and just want to stare at pink flowers while pushing out a watermelon?
“This room looks like a bottle of Pepto threw up.”
The nurse looks at me and smiles. Jimmy sets me down on the bed and stares at my feet. “You’re not wearing any shoes.”
I look down, he’s right. “Imagine that. Guess I would’ve known had I walked to the car.”
The nurse laughs. “Put this on and get comfortable. I’ll be back.”
Famous last words.
“OH my God it hurts so much,” I whine to anyone who’ll listen. I’m uncomfortable and tired. I’ve been walking up and down the hall dozens of times. I’ve sat in every position ever created. I’ve rocked on a ball through my contractions and nothing… nothing is making them go away.
“It’s almost over, babe.”
“How the hell do you know, Jimmy? Do you have some
magic spidey sense telling you that the baby is almost here?”
“No, I just thought —”
“Stop thinking.”
“Okay.”
“Okay? Nothing is okay. I’m in pain and your daughter is stretching me as far as the Grand Canyon. How is this okay?”
Jimmy closes his eyes and rests his head next to mine. I want to push him away, but he gives me the coveted ice chips that are like crack. I know he’s holding them hostage and waiting for me to say nice things to him, but that’s not going to happen. I’m angry with him right now.
“I love you, Jimmy.”
“Love you too, Sweet Lips.”
My body tightens as a contraction works its way through my abdomen. “It hurts,” I whine. Tears or maybe just sweat, roll down my face.
“I’m sorry.”
“You should be. It’s your demon sperm that did this to me.”
“Jenna —”
“Don’t Jenna me. I let you stick that thing in me and now look at me.”
“You’re having a baby,” he says as if he’s trying to sweeten me up.
“Babies aren’t this evil.” I try to turn away from him, but he holds onto me. It should piss me off, but it doesn’t.
“I need to go to the bathroom,” I say as the pressure increases.
“I’ll call the doctor.” Jimmy stands but I pull him back to me.
“You can’t leave me,” I cry out.