Finding My Way (Beaumont 4)

“All right man, I’m giving it to you straight. I get it. With all that free pussy, it’s hard to say no, but you have to sometimes. I like to get to know them a little before I sleep with them, almost like that stupid three-date rule. I’m not a fan of one-night stands either, but I don’t like relationships. I date them for a couple of weeks and move on. Usually it’s mutually agreed upon because they become needy and clingy and I can’t do that. I sleep late, stay up until the sun comes up and work in a bar. I’m not going to go for long walks on the beach or have a candlelit dinner waiting for them. I’m not open about my feelings either. I don’t want to discuss that shit, but I’m at least honest with them. I don’t give them false hope and I always wear a condom. No babies and no diseases.

“The more they see you, the sexier you become. You have to protect you and only you. Trust no one. Everyone here is out for themselves and will stab you in the back while you’re staring at them,” he pauses, allowing me to cut in.

“My gram says the same thing about trust.”

“She’s right, you know. I’ve known her since my mom started working for her casting agent and she’s been real good to me and my sister, but I’ve seen people burn her just because of who she is. You should listen to her.”

I nod and realize I have so much to learn not only about the industry but about people. In Beaumont, you can trust everyone.

“You’re on in five, better get tuned up. It will just be me on stage so tell me what you’re playing and I’ll have your back.” Harrison walks out of the room leaving me to contemplate everything he just said. I don’t know if I should talk to Layla or leave it be. Either way, nothing can happen with her again.

Trixie goes over the rules before slapping me on the ass and yelling “good luck” as she walks away from me. I’m not sure how to take her. She’s so different from everyone else I know yet, I find myself drawn to her. I don’t know if it’s because she holds my future in her hands or if it’s because she knows what the hell she’s doing. She can make or break me with the flick of her wrist if I’m not careful.

I step onto the stage and nod at Harrison. I hand him my two-song set list. That’s all I get to make an impression, two songs. It’s not much, but as I understand it, the time slots dictate how many songs I’ll get. As with any artist the late slot is what we all want. I’m going to earn that spot sooner rather than later and if it means I have to sit on the street corner and play to get an audience, so be it. Either way, it will be mine.

I thought about playing the song I wrote for my girl, but I’m not ready for the questions that will come as a result. My grandma is in the crowd and while she knows, pouring my heart out to everyone else isn’t something I’m comfortable with right now. Maybe next time I will be.

The wooden stool is hard, but familiar. The stiffness is a welcome feeling as I remember the many nights at the University that I sat and played. I rest my leg on the bottom peg and look out at the audience. I try not to let the size of the crowd deter me, but it does a little. There are maybe seven people out there and that’s counting Trixie, my grandma and the bartender. Four people are here to listen to me sing.

“I can do this,” I say as I strum the strings on my guitar. Harrison starts the beat for Never Say Goodbye by Bon Jovi. The lyrics come easy to me as I belt them out. My eyes close as the music takes over my body and my soul. I can see her standing on the dance floor waiting for me. She wants to dance, but Mason and Jerad are talking to me. I’m watching her sway her hips back and forth. Her finger beckons me and at this point who am I to deny her? I can’t that’s the problem. She couldn’t accept this part of me so I had to leave her because had I stayed, I would’ve done anything she asked me to do and that would’ve destroyed us in the end. I put a stop to the dream so we can have a chance at a future… someday.

I open my eyes as I hit the last note. The audience has doubled and they’re all clapping. I spot my grandma in the center. Her hands and covering her mouth, but I can see by her expression that she’s happy for me. I reach down and pick up the bottle of water that is sitting on the floor and take a quick drink before setting it back on the ground.

“Thank you,” I say as I adjust on the stool. “This is my first night at Metro and I’m very happy to be here. My name’s Liam Page and this next song, everyone knows so please feel free to sing along. You’ll make me sound better, I promise.”

I can’t contain the grin that spreads across my face. This has gone better than I thought. So what if I started with four people, they all clapped for me. I place my fingers on the proper strings and start the melody to Don’t Stop Believin’ and the few that are out there cheer loudly. Everyone can relate to this song and it’s going to be my motto from here on out. If I believe that this can happen, it will. I just have to have a little faith.

A bigger crowd wouldn’t be a bad thing either.

I leave the stage with a new surge of confidence. The size of the crowd doesn’t matter; it’s their reaction that solidifies that I’m on the right path. Harrison slaps me on the back and congratulates me before he returns to the stage for the next performance. My goal now is to sing three songs. I just have to figure out how to get Trixie to move me to the next slot. Baby steps, but I’ll get there.

I stumble as I walk back to the green room as I catch the flying redhead in my arms, thankful that my guitar is still slung over my shoulder. Layla buries her head in my neck with her legs wrapped around my waist. I set my hand on her waist and push a little to get her to let go. She slides down slowly causing me to close my eyes and wish this wasn’t happening right now.

“You were fantastic. I had no idea!”

I want to say of course you didn’t because we don’t know anything about each other except for what we learned in bed and that’s not much to go by since I only remember a small portion of it.

“Thank you,” I respond, hoping to end the conversation there. Layla has other ideas though and steps forward, placing her hand on my chest.

“Want to come over after my show?”

I look over the top of her head before looking back at her. “I can’t, Layla –”

“Why not?” she asks before I can finish.

I step back. “I’m not in a place right now where I can do this.” I motion between her and I. “I need friends right now. I need to focus on my music and not get wrapped up in something I can’t control.”

“I’m not looking for a boyfriend, Liam, just a good time.”

“I get that, but I’m not even looking for a good time. I just got here, Layla. I need to establish who I am and figure out if I can even hack it in this industry. Can we be friends?”

“With benefits?” she asks with too much hope showing on her face.

I shake my head and step back, putting some space between us. “I can’t do that, not now. All I c

an offer is a friendship and support.”

“I get it. It’s cool. We can hang and be friends.”