“Because… I don’t.”
“But why? He’s single, I’m single, I think it’s a great idea.”
“Because I think I’m in love with him,” I blurt out. The room goes quiet and I notice Josie and Jenna exchange looks. Aubrey scoots next to me and puts her arm around me.
“What are you going to do about it?” Josie asks.
I shake my head. “I don’t know. I can’t…” I stand up and try to pace, but I’m too dizzy. I sit back down and pull my legs to my chest. “I can’t take anymore hurt.”
Josie kneels in front of me and takes my hands into hers. “Harrison won’t hurt you, Katelyn, he’s in love with you and he loves Peyton and Elle. Just give him a chance.”
“I did.”
“And he didn’t do anything to break that trust. You were duped, just like I was last year by that wretched woman. He’s taken care of her. If he didn’t love you, he wouldn’t have done that.”
I shake my head. “I don’t know.”
Josie puts my hair behind my ear. “You do know, sweetie, you just have to look in front of you.”
I nod and wrap my arms around her. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but maybe Harrison and I can sit down and figure things out after the wedding.
"MERRY Christmas!” Quinn bellows out.
He runs into the house, excited to spend his last few days with his friends. He hasn’t told Noah or the girls, said he didn’t want them to be sad around Christmas time or for the wedding. I respect his decision.
The sound of laughter rings throughout the house. Quinn and I carry in our presents for everyone. The girls are dressed in matching outfits. I eye Peyton, who looks like she’s going to scream with excitement. I smile at her and am rewarded with one of the sweetest smiles I’ve ever had from her. Since the day we had our chat, things have been really good between us. Elle is twirling around like a ballerina, giggling. I feel like I’m missing something I never really had, and it hurts.
Katelyn sits in the chair next to the fireplace. Her legs are curled underneath. I miss her, but I can’t let that show, especially today. A year ago, I walked into this house and saw the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. When I held her hand, I knew she was going to be someone special. Everything I did, I did because I saw her as my future.
Now, she’s my past, and in a few days she’ll go from someone I know and see occasionally to someone I see rarely, if at all, and that doesn’t make me happy. But it’s my choice.
Liam walks in with a Santa hat on and the kids start jumping up and down. I kneel in front of the tree and put the presents that Quinn wrapped underneath it. I hold the one I bought for Katelyn in my hand and wonder if it should be included with the rest, or if I should leave it in her mailbox on my way out of town. It’s not meant to be a parting gift, it’s something I bought for her before shit went down. I’ve thought about not giving it to her, but it has meaning and I can’t bring myself to return it to the store.
I try not to watch her, but I can feel my body gravitate toward her. Her hair falls in her face as I pass by. I have to pocket my hand to keep me from caressing her cheek. I pinch my leg, reminding me that she quit us. I didn’t.
“Present time,” Liam announces. The kids yell with excitement and gather around the tree. Liam distributes the presents to each child, leaving the adults for last.
I try to keep my thoughts at bay. I don’t know if moving is the right thing to do, but right now, it’s what I need. I’ve put myself out there with her and I wore my heart on my sleeve. I sit back and watch as the kids tear into their presents. Wrapping paper flies all over the room and laughter rings out. Josie brings in breakfast. She hands me a cup of coffee. I know the look on her face. She feels sorry for me, and she shouldn’t. She smiles softly and turns to look at Katelyn.
I don’t want to look, but I can’t help myself, and much like last year, she’s staring at her girls, probably remembering her husband. I can’t imagine holidays get any easier when the one you love is no longer able to love you back. I should know.
“Dad, can I give Peyton and Elle their presents?” Out of the corner of my eye I see Katelyn look over. It makes me wonder what she’s thinking.
“I’d like to watch them open them. Can you bring them over here?” I ask. Quinn nods and returns to the girls. He picks up their presents and shows them to them. The three of them, who have grown close this past year, come over and sit in front of me.
“From me and my dad,” he says handing them each a box. Quinn picked out the red wrapping paper and blue bow. The girls tear open their boxes and open the lid.
“Oh look, mommy, I got a necklace.” Elle shuffles over to her mom and shows her. I look at Peyton, who holds her necklace in her hand.
“What’s in there?”
I move to sit down on the floor next to her. I pick up the vial and spin it around. Her eyes go wide with surprise as the gel moves around. “Inside are two names, yours and your dad’s.” I take the necklace from her hand and secure it around her neck. “This way, your dad is always with you.”
“Is mine like that too, Harrison?” Elle walks on her knees over to me and hands me her box. I take out her necklace and hold it up so the sunlight can hit it. “It sparkles,” Elle squeals and claps her hands.
I spin it around and hold it in my hand so she can see the inside. “That one there says Elle and that one there says Mason.”
“Can you put it on for me?” Elle turns around and lifts her hair like a true princess. I fasten her necklace and sit back. The girls play with their necklaces, mesmerized that each time they tilt the vial, their gel and names move. I went with leather as their chains so they won’t break on them.