American Honey

“Thank you.” My response seems lacking, but he’ll never understand the magnitude of that compliment. After being called a slut and a whore by my friends, he’s working to reverse the damage that has been done.

“What do you say we go for a dip in the pond before we eat? It’s blazing out here and I think we could both cool off a bit. Besides, we’re both almost naked and it seems like the best thing to do,” he chuckles lightly.

I agree

and slip off my boots before taking his hand. He leads us to the edge and kisses me lightly before pulling us into the water.

Tyler and I hold each other in the pond, basking in the mellowness of the water. We’re all lips and hands as we make-out in the water. I love being in his arms and know I want to take things further with him. I don’t want him to be hesitant or afraid I might rebuff him, I won’t. I’m just not sure how to tell him.

The pond is refreshing and a welcome relief from the heat. I thought when I arrived, I’d hate it here. Truth is I’d take Rivers Crossing over New York City any day. There’s so much freedom to be who you are without being someone fake. I’m not blind; I know people judge you no matter where you live, but at least here, with Tyler, Jeremiah and my aunt and uncle, I’m not judged because of what I did.

When we get out, dripping wet and rejuvenated, Tyler pulls a blanket from the horse and lays it on the ground. I pick up his shirt and slip it on, leaving the top buttons undone. He sets out our food and while it all looks delicious. I want something else from him but only after I tell him how I feel and what’s weighing on my mind.

Sitting cross-legged in front him, his eyes widen when he takes in my attire. He trails his index finger down the exposed valley of my breasts. Everything I experienced in New York has been nothing compared to the way Tyler is with me.

“I have something to tell you and I’m not sure how to say it. Actually, it’s a couple of somethings.”

“You can tell me anything,” he says as he moves closer to me. His fingers caress my skin and he laughs when it pebbles.

“Well…” I start, wringing my hands together. “I want to be with you.”

“I want to be with you too, Savannah, but we don’t have to rush anything. I like that we’re taking our time and getting to know each other. I love that I’m learning your body and figuring out what turns you on. You fascinate me in the best way.”

When he admits to romantic disclosures like that, it makes the next part so hard to say. “We don’t have time,” I spit out.

His hand stalls on my leg and his brow furrows. “What do you mean?”

“My mom… she called last night, I leave for Paris next week.”

Tyler sits up immediately and I feel the loss of his touch as if he’s stabbing me in the heart. He shakes his head. “Why?”

“I don’t know. The last time we talked she said I’d be lucky to survive the summer but she called and told me that she made arrangements for me to go earlier. I told her I didn’t want to, but she’s not listening to me.” I crawl on my knees to Tyler and place my arms around him. “I don’t want to go, but I do. I’ve wanted to study in Paris for so long.”

He nods. “It’s a good thing for you, Savannah.” He turns and pulls me into his arms. “I’ll miss you though, something fierce.”

“Me too,” I reply, as I lean forward and kiss him. This time he doesn’t hold back and reclines. I shift so that I’m lying over the top of him and it’s only seconds before I feel his need pressing against me. I sit up and unbutton his shirt. Tyler watches my every move. The moment his shirt is off me, he’s maneuvered so he’s on top, resting on his arms so that he’s hovering over the top of me.

“I’m afraid that I’m falling hard for you.”

“Me too,” my voice breaks, as I look into his eyes. He takes me all in, his eyes never leaving me as he sits back on his knees, hooking his fingers into my panties and sliding them down my leg.

“I want this with you, Savannah. But if you don’t want to, just tell me to stop and I will.”

I shake my head. “I want this. I want you, too.”

He nods and reaches for his jeans, pulling out the square package that will take us past the point of no return. He shimmies out of his boxer briefs and sheaths himself, hovering over me, his lips finding mine as he makes us one.

Chapter 17 – Tyler

It’s been a week since Savannah told me the devastating news. I had to hold back my emotions when she informed me that she was leaving early. I couldn’t let her know that I was breaking inside and each day since, I’ve done everything I can to show her how much she means to me. Each night when I lie in bed and listen to the hum of the air conditioner, unable to fall asleep, I wonder if it’d be so bad if I drove us to Vegas to get married. Right now, I’m willing to be as non-traditional as possible if it means she stays.

As much as I want to keep her here, I can’t. Doing so makes me no better than her momma. I want to be the one person who doesn’t let Savannah down and the only way to do that is to keep up my façade that I’m okay, even when I’m dying on the inside.

Never in a million years did I think I’d feel like this, especially when she stepped off the bus. Her attitude was such a turn off that I thought for sure we’d continue to butt heads, but she surprised me, over and over again. The reemergence of the Savannah that I grew up with was just waiting to be triggered and when she finally started to show, she blew me away. She just needed to remember who she was and that finally happened but now she’s leaving me, all too soon.

I’m supposed to have months, not weeks and now only hours. This goodbye isn’t supposed to happen until late August, but once again her momma is taking her away from me and this time I know I won’t see her again. I have no doubt she’ll meet her soul mate in Paris and fall in love under the Eiffel tower, forgetting what it’s like to live here. She won’t need me, not as much as I need her. Savannah McGuire has my heart. She’ll be boarding a plane with it in her hand and there isn’t jack shit I can do about it. Asking her to stay won’t do. I can’t ask her to give up her dreams for me. I have nothing to offer her except for me and I fear that I’m not enough.

Resting my head against the steering wheel, I take a deep breath trying to calm my anxiety. Savannah thinks I’m going to drive her into town to catch the bus. That doesn’t work for me. I’ll be driving her to Austin and waiting with her until the very last possible minute. I know I’m torturing myself, but I can’t help it. I don’t want to let her go. It’s selfish of me to feel this way, but I just got her back and I’m not ready to lose her.