American Honey

Cutting him off, before he goes into any greater detail, I add, “Two, I just want to tell you that I’ve fallen in love with you, Finn.”

“Tessa, I fell in love with you the day we met,” he whispers.

Before I’m able to get another word out, we both notice a tug on his fishing pole. Finn always catches at least ten fish. Tonight was my first catch. I typically give up way too easy and just find a spot in his lap while he snags them, but tonight has been a quiet night of fishing with me only catching one. There’s been lots of beers thrown back, though, and I finally understand the whole fishing thing. It’s just time to decompress from the rest of the world.

Finn pulls back on his pole and begins reeling in the fish and when his catch finally surfaces from the pond, I’m unable to hold back my laughter. It’s even smaller than mine. Immediately, I run to the cooler to grab mine and compare it to his.

“Finn, oh my God, my fish is bigger than yours. I didn’t think they came any smaller than mine.”

“Shut up and get your ass in the truck,” he growls.

His hidden smile isn’t lost on me, and I know, deep down, he loves all of this.

One night, he explained to me the reasons behind wanting to stay on the farm with Granddaddy, and it was centered around his mother. She was an amazing person, and I love hearing all of Finn’s memories. The only time he’s ever teared up is when he admitted most of the memories would be lost if it wasn’t for his granddaddy retelling the stories.

“We have to go show Granddaddy,” I squeal getting into the truck.

“You two will never let me live this one down, will you?”

“Nope.”

From the driver’s seat, Finn grabs my cheek and begins to speak, “Tessa, I love you with everything I have. In the beginning of all this you were scared you’d be the one walking away with a broken heart, but now my biggest fear is that I’ll be the one walking away with the broken heart.”

I don’t know how to respond to Finn’s statement, so I don’t. I can’t promise him anything besides just this summer. I still have no clue where I’m going when summer is over. My original plans were to throw a dart at a map, move there and begin my nursing career, but that was all before Finn. I can only hold Finn’s hand while he drives and pray this all works for both of us.

Pulling up to Granddaddy Jimmy’s place, I immediately recognize Finn’s dad on the porch. I haven’t run into him since the day he fixed my tooth. Since then I’ve learned way too much to be able to even look at the man much rather hold a conversation.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Finn says.

“Why do you think he is here?” I ask.

“All I know is it can’t be good.”

We both hop out of the truck and I go for the cooler while Finn walks up to the porch.

“What did ya catch tonight, kids?”

I hear Jimmy’s voice.

“We just caught two fish,” Finn replies.

“Well, I guess you two aren’t eating tonight because this old man is hungry and two fish is about my limit,” Jimmy jokes back.

Finn takes the seat next to his granddaddy while making no attempt to talk or look at his dad. I know there’s been added tension since we’ve started hanging out. Finn hasn’t come right out and told me, but Wes has. I feel extremely guilty for adding more drama to their plate.

I usually just go bounding right up the porch and make myself at home. Tonight is different. The tension in the air could be felt miles away. I stop at the foot of the steps and look up at the three men. Grudges, hatred and old pain fill all three of their faces, and it immediately breaks my heart. Tears spring to my eyes knowing I don’t even have my parents in my life, nor will I ever have the chance to have both of them sitting on a front porch with me, and here these three sit.

I watch as Granddaddy gets up, walks towards me and grabs my hand leading me up to the porch to sit by Finn.

“What do you think you’re doing, son?”

His dad blurts out before I can even sit down next to Finn.

“Dad, we’re not going to talk about this again.”

“Yes, we are. You need some fucking common sense knocked into you.”

“It didn’t get us anywhere yesterday. Why would it today?”