“I dunno. Mom says that I can call you ‘Dad’ if I want.”
My heart soars with anticipation until he speaks again and says, “But I like calling you Eban because it’s the same name as me.”
Swallowing hard, I try to ward off the emotions threatening to take over. I bring my knees to my chest, resting my arms over them and grabbing my wrist with my hand.
“Are you crying, Eban?”
“No,” I shake my head. “My eyes are just sweating.”
He laughs and I smile, but it’s forced. Clearing my throat, I say, “Do you think that maybe you’ll want to call me ‘Dad’ someday?”
He shrugs and places his picked grass onto his leg. “Do you think my dad will be mad?”
I want to be a damn child and yell at him, telling him that Nate is not his dad, but I’ll save that for Ryley and Nate later.
Instead, I shake my head knowing I’ve not earned the right to say what I want where EJ’s concerned, but real
izing he doesn’t know that. He doesn’t know me. “I think he’ll understand.”
EJ briefly looks over his shoulder again. His little hand grabs a fist full of grass, pulling hard until he brings up clumps of dirt.
“Why do you look like my dad?”
“Why do you think you look like me?” I counter.
He shrugs. “I dunno.”
I stop talking for fear that I’ll say something stupid. I should’ve stayed at River’s today. I should’ve never agreed to come to the park when Ryley called and invited me. I let River and Frannie encourage me and now here I am, confused and hurt. I feel empty and half of who I am on the inside. The love of my life is in love with a man I share DNA with and they’re raising my son together whether I like it or not.
EJ stands and brushes off his legs. “See ya later, Eban.” And before I can ask him to stay he’s gone. He runs back to Ryley and Nate as if his ass were on fire. I’m watching him the whole way, fighting every urge to scream, kick, fight, run after him, cry and beg for him to just accept me as his dad.
As soon as I see Ryley heading in my direction, I stand and walk away. I don’t want to talk to her, not today and probably not tomorrow. I may be a meathead, but I’m not stupid and I refuse to be treated as such. The writing is on the wall. She and Nate are going to stay together, my feelings be damned.
“Evan, wait.”
“Can’t, gotta go,” I tell her, without stopping. Her hand pulls on my arm until she’s standing in front of me.
“Where are you going?”
“Home. I mean River’s. Away. What does it matter?”
She blanches at my answers and her eyes widen. They’re the same beautiful green eyes that stared at me when she was lying on the ground after I hit her with the football. “What’s going on?”
I shake from the anger coursing through my body right now. Her dumb act isn’t lost on me. Pulling at the ends of my hair in frustration, I let out a loud groan.
“You told him without me being there! So, you and Nate decided that Nate will still be his dad and I’m what? That I’m some guy that comes by every now and again?” My voice is louder than I want, but I can’t control it.
“No,” she answers weakly, pissing me off even more.
“Then, what? I get it, Ry. I’m not stupid. You want to be with Nate, fine, be with him. But that little boy is my son and I’m going to be in his life. I know when to step aside and this... well, this is me walking away.”
For the first time in my life I’m willingly walking away from the one girl I’ve loved my whole life. The one girl I never thought I’d be away from. The one girl who I thought would love me no matter what life threw at us.
“DO YOU HAVE EVERYTHING?”
Mom fusses, folding another t-shirt and placing it in the pile.
“Yes Mom, I do,” Evan assures her. He’s leaving before me by one week. We thought we’d be in basic together, but he enlisted after me and he told them that he plans to be a SEAL. The Navy plans to kick his ass.