Joey waits while her words sink in. Through my chocolate haze, I see a lone tear fall. I try to reach for her, but she backs away, shaking her head. I jump when the door slams, leaving me in the kitchen with cake smeared on my face, and a heart beating so rapidly I can’t tell if it’s because I’m anxious, or if it’s because I’m upset that she’s hurting.
I have cake, though, and according to Joey, cake makes everything better.
[Roll intro]
“I’m Patrick Jonas, and welcome to another episode of Married Blind.”
[Theme music plays]
“Tonight our newlyweds will be playing for their first luxury vacation. Who will be crowned victors for the eight-day stay in Tahiti? Also tonight, we’ll learn of a new twist. One that is sure to rock the house and make the spouses think twice. When we return, we’ll join our favorite newlyweds and see how they’re doing.”
[Make-up fix]
[Check lighting]
[Break over]
[Audience applause]
“Welcome back. When we last left our houseguests, Amanda and Gary were getting cozy in the master suite.”
[Audience oohs]
“Let’s go live to the house to see how life is treating them, and to see if everyone is ready for tonight’s competition.”
[Audience cheers]
[Switch to the live feed]
“Hello, newlyweds.”
[All respond]
“Gary and Amanda, how are you enjoying married life?”
“Well, Patrick, the jetted tub in the master suite is to die for. I don’t think I ever want to leave,” Amanda’s reply is a bit too bubbly for me. She’s bouncing in her seat right now, happy to be the center of attention. Not that I blame her, it is nice when the focus is on you, unless you’re me. I’d rather not be the focus of anyone’s attention until this stupid game is over.
“Oh yes, I hear it’s fabulous. I may have to come in and try it.”
Creeper!
I feel like yelling out that they should try the shower, but it’s probably not appropriate and would likely lead to more questions, like “how are you and Josh?” Me and who? Oh yes, my husband … the one who told his roommate his devious plan to wed and not bed, on national television so he could win half a million dollars to save the community center where he grew up. He’s noble, I give him that, but the rest of him needs work.
Patrick Jonas carries on, while I tune him out. You can tell who his favorite houseguest is, and right now it’s Amanda. It could be because of her clothing. She’s taken to altering the “outfits” we’re given to wear for competitions, and made them more … well, Amandaesque. The tops are cut to show off her ample, and likely fake, breasts and her shorts are rolled so high … You get the picture.
Amanda has also resumed the former and now active hobby of staring at Joshua, all the time. At first, when the show started, it bothered me because she was so nasty to me. Making snide comments about how I didn’t deserve someone like him. She’d touch him, running her fingers down his arms and he’d laugh. He placated her because it’s his job. But now, now that she knows Jules Maxwell has rocked our boat, she thinks she has a chance with him. Her new daily routine consists of doing yoga while he’s working out; making sure her rump shaker is facing him. I applaud her ability to bend and twist, but for the love of all things holy, no one wants to see your beaver dam, especially not Josh.
If there’s one thing I know about Joshua Freaking Wilson it’s that he doesn’t do plastic, and Amanda is as plastic as they come. Sad to say, but I’d much rather he ends up with Jules instead of Amanda. But my opinion doesn’t matter. Once the show is over, I’ll never see him again. Right now, I can’t even fathom being friends with him. It’s not worth the heartache.
Joshua taps me on the shoulder, getting my attention. I smile at the creeper, Patrick, and listen to him explain what we’re competing for.
“Tonight you’ll compete in your first luxury competition. The winners will be flown to Tahiti for an eight-day excursion.”
Everyone in the room claps or let’s out some kind of excited squeal, except for me. I don’t want to win. There’s no point.
“So if we win, do I get the trip?” I whisper into Josh’s ear. He looks at me out of the corner of his eye, but doesn’t appease me with an answer. Needless to say, our relationship is not what it was before the video messages were shown to us. I know it’s not his fault that Jules said what she did, but it definitely drove the final nail in my proverbial coffin as his wife. I had been hanging on by a thread with breaking down his walls and getting somewhere in his heart. I had hoped that when the show was over, he’d take me into the green room and profess his undying love for me by ripping up the annulment papers. That hope no longer exists. It’s not going to matter what I do, I’ll be single in a few shorts week.
Jules Maxwell made sure of that.