I gulped and nodded.
“Then your father never…?”
“No.” My voice shook. “He tried. And he would have. But I got away.”
He heaved a sigh. “Oh, thank God. I mean, I know whatever you went through with him wasn’t good, and I’m so sorry for that. But I couldn’t bear the thought of him taking you, violating you in that way.”
“Believe me, neither could I. I was lucky to get away.”
“Maybe. Or maybe you were just strong enough to figure out how to get away. Don’t discount yourself.”
“Ryan, I was fifteen.”
His eyes darkened. “That bastard.”
I swallowed. “What he did to me was nothing compared to what he did to your brother. And to many others.”
He shook his head. “My brother went through hell. I won’t deny it. And what’s more, he saved me from the same fate. My brother is amazing. A real-life hero. But so are you, baby. So are you.”
“I don’t feel very amazing a lot of the time. And I sure as hell don’t feel like a hero.”
“You are.”
“I doubt Juliet and Lisa would think so.”
“Oh, baby.” He cupped my other cheek as well, holding my face. “You’re not responsible for everything bad in the world.”
“But my father—”
“Hey. You’re not your father. Any more than I’m my father. We’ve been finding out some stuff about him, stuff that I know isn’t going to lead to anything good. But he isn’t me.”
“I know. You’re right. I know that objectively.”
“It’s not your responsibility to right all your father’s wrongs. Don’t let him color your life. Don’t let what he did to you color your life.”
Easy for him to say. His words weren’t any I hadn’t heard before. From friends—the few I’d had over the years— but mostly from myself.
If only I could make myself believe them.
He roved his gaze over my body. “You’re so beautiful.”
“Oh!” I’d nearly forgotten we were naked. Our conversation had taken a turn away from what we both wanted.
Well, what he wanted.
No, that was a lie.
I wanted it. I just didn’t want to want it.
But here I was, naked in a cabana on a nude beach with the most magnificent man in the universe.
I laid my hands over his and then smoothed them up his arms, over his shoulders, to his face. I cupped his cheeks as he was cupping mine, and I pulled him toward me.
His soft lips landed on mine, and I opened slightly. Kissing was everything and nothing like I’d imagined it would be. It was wet and sloppy, yes, but it was also emotional and perfect.
At least it was with this man.
As he swept into my mouth, I let go of my fears, my worries. For this one night, I would have perfection.