Tess had briefed her about each and every guest and it had all fled what passed for her brain now the wedding was actually happening. She had hardly slept last night, tossing and turning with nightmare visions of everything that might happen to stop it—her father appearing with a shotgun, the archbishop refusing the licence, Gabriel coming to his senses. And when she had fought all those phantoms down she was racked with worry that it would happen and that the marriage would be a disaster and—
‘Breathe,’ Alex murmured as they entered the drawing room. For a second her knees turned to jelly and then she looked up through the gauzy veil and saw Gabriel standing at the far end of the room. He was a stranger, a well-groomed gentleman in a beautiful tail coat and silk breeches, his hair fashionably cropped, his expression severe. And then he saw her and everything was all right. She had no idea what tomorrow might bring, but here, now, the man she loved was smiling at her, was, against all convention, holding out his hand to her, and she was conscious of nothing more than his voice speaking the vows, the warmth of his grip, the caress of his lips as he put back her veil and kissed her.
‘You make a very lovely countess,’ Gabriel said as they processed back between the rows of guests.
‘It is this gown.’ She was walking on air now in her pretty French kid slippers, ready to believe he thought her lovely as the cream silk whispered behind her, as the tiny crystals and pearls caught the light and sparkled like snow in summer, as the diamonds he had given her flashed defiant fire at her ears and throat, wrist and in her hair.
‘It is you, my lady. You would have this room at your feet even if you were wearing sackcloth. You make me proud to be your husband.’
Hold this moment a little voice inside her urged. You will need this memory, you will need its strength.
* * *
‘How married do you feel?’ Gabriel asked as the chaise rattled over the cobbles past Brixton church and Caroline took off her bonnet and sat back with a sigh. They had a six-hour journey ahead of them, it was already well past noon and his bride was a trifle wan. She was still beautiful, but pale now and her smiles were beginning to look artificial. She would regain her spirits, he had confidence in her resilience, but for now he would try and keep things light.
‘I feel very married. But I am not certain about being a countess,’ Caroline confessed, with a dimple appearing that looked perfectly natural. ‘I will have to get Harriet to address me as Lady Edenbridge with every sentence until I become accustomed. How married do you feel?’
‘Exceedingly. The sight of my beautiful bride might have been a dream, but I have been comprehensively lectured by Cris and Alex on the subject, I have signed numerous legal papers, much to Louis’s delight, and I have seen an alarming amount of luggage loaded on the coach this morning. That all feels very real.’ So did the pleasure he felt when he looked at her, caught one of her smiles. It was almost easy to believe that he could make her happy. That she could make him happy.
‘Wait until the bills arrive, then you’ll most definitely know you have a wife,’ she said darkly. ‘Tamsyn and Tess insisted that you had given them carte blanche to buy whatever they felt was necessary, but it seems like a great deal to me.’ Glancing down, he saw that the dimple had vanished. ‘I wish my father would release my dowry, I do not like coming to you empty-handed.’
‘You bring yourself. That is all I need. I am a rich man, Caroline. I can well support a wife in style.’
She slipped her hand into his. ‘Thank you.’ Caroline was silent almost as far as Streatham village and he was wondering if she had fallen asleep. Then she said, ‘I do like your brothers.’
‘You do?’ He had kept a wary eye on them, as far as he was able amidst the demands of an early wedding breakfast.
‘Ben is a good officer, I imagine. He has that same knack of leadership that you do, but allied to military discipline. And I imagine that he takes good care of his men, for all his seeming rather abrupt. That is like you, too.’
‘Me? I lead no one anywhere except into trouble and I have no one to take care of. Except you now.’ A sweet duty.
‘And your brothers. And your friends. But if you are going to be foolishly modest I will tell you that I also liked George and I consider him quite indecently good looking for a clergyman. The poor man will spend his entire career evading heart-struck spinsters in the vestry. He will make a very beautiful bishop, which Louis informs me he intends to become.’
‘I am prepared to admit that he resembles me in looks,’ Gabriel said, fishing to see just how truthful she would be.
‘George is better looking than you are. His nose is straighter and he has a very engaging smile.’
‘That puts me in my place. And what about Louis?’
‘Oh, Louis is a darling. He is anxious to do well in his studies so that when he graduates he can be of the greatest use to you. He hero-worships you, of course.’
‘Nonsense. They all avoid me like the plague unless they need money. Or, in Louis’s case, employment.’
‘They are in awe of you,’ Caroline said, tipping back her head to frown at him. ‘They look up to you. I never spoke to them all together, but they all said the same thing, that they owe you so much. They love you, you know.’
Gabriel shifted on the seat, the plush upholstery suddenly as hard as planks. They could only have been referring to their childhood, but none of them knew just what lengths he had gone to in order to protect them. And none of them had witnessed that final crisis, only Louis, for whom the memory had been blanked out by shock.
He had sneered at Caroline’s devotion to Anthony, her total commitment to putting his welfare above her own. But he knew now why it had made him so uneasy and defensive. He had felt the same, had made his own sacrifices. But all this flummery about love... No. Even if his brothers did know, all he had done was his duty to them. He was the eldest and they were his responsibility.
‘You will invite them to stay, won’t you?’ Caroline rested her head on his shoulder. ‘There is room for guests at Mount Street and I imagine Edenvale is large enough for proper house parties. Now what have I said?’ She sat up again. ‘You have gone all stiff.’
‘None of us likes Edenvale.’
‘Then we must fix whatever is wrong with it. It is a wicked waste to have a large house uninhabited. It should be giving employment to the entire district, for one thing.’
She sank back against his shoulder and Gabriel wondered why that gesture was quite as pleasing as it was. This was his wedding day, he should want kisses and caresses from his wife, not confiding snuggling. Then she nudged him in the ribs. ‘Ouch!’
‘What about Edenvale? What is wrong with it?’