Period.
We tromped through the snow coming down faster than the proprietors of the apple orchard-slash bed and breakfast-slash event facility could keep the snow cleared away. There was a literal team out there working with plows and shovels. If anything, it was snowing harder here in the little hamlet of Turnbull than it had been in the Cove, which was saying a lot.
I gripped her arm and steadied her as we neared the walkway that led to the wide porch’s front steps. “Are you okay?”
She didn’t growl at me, which proved she was in rough shape. “Do you know where the bathrooms are in this joint?”
Uh oh.
“I’ll find out.” I yanked my phone out of my pocket and texted Caleb with my clumsy, half frozen fingers.
Where’s the john here?
Caleb’s reply was surprisingly swift since I was pretty sure he should be busy right now.
Dude, you are late. So late. And your 1st concern is your bladder?
Not mine. Ruby’s. And not her bladder. Need a br. Where do we go?
Is she ok? Right off the entrance to the left.
Thanks. Sorry. Cya in a min.
Or ten depending how bad the spewage was, but I didn’t add that. The guy had enough to deal with. He didn’t need to find out his replacement maid-of-honor was on the verge of tossing her cookies upon arrival.
“You know,” I said over the rising wind, laying a hand at the small of her back, “you would basically make my life if you’d be okay with me carrying you again.”
“Thor, I’m at low ebb here. Weakened state.”
“That wasn’t a no. It would be my honor. Really.”
“Um, not sure if you’re aware, but this is someone else’s wedding. Added to the fact,” she rubbed her belly in frantic circles, swallowing hard, “I’m pretty sure if you lift me up right now, you’ll be wearing this afternoon’s ham sandwich as part of your wedding attire.”
“Okay. No carrying.”
&nb
sp; I rushed up the steps and drew open the door, the warm, homey scents inside immediately washing over me. Rich winter smells like roasting chestnut, the tang of apples, and something like sugary vanilla made my stomach growl as I turned back toward Tish and opened my voluminous long coat.
It had been an inspired choice, especially considering my current use. “Here, duck under here.”
“What? Duck? I’m almost six foot tall.”
“And mouthy with it too.” I shrouded it around her and ushered her inside, pleased when she ducked her head against my neck as people swarmed toward us. Many people. Far more than a pregnant woman about to have her first episode of baby-induced throwing up should have to contend with before she…expelled.
“We’ll be right back.” I used my most booming voice and smiled brightly as I drew her to the left and down the hall to the women’s room.
I was almost sure some of the guests gasped in our wake.
I’d need to come up with a good cover story for this one. It didn’t seem likely Ruby would be okay with me announcing we were expecting.
Lord help us, we were expecting an actual human baby that we would have to take care of for, like, eighteen years.
I’d be how old by then? Quickly, I did the math. Hopefully, I’d still have all my hair. I didn’t want to be the pity dad at graduation. That whole patchy on top and long in back look never did anyone any favors.
“Thor.” Ruby pounded on my chest. “You’re blocking the damn doorway. Move.”
I opened the door and she charged inside, aiming straight for the toilet. The setup was for one person with no separate stalls, so she was in my full view when she dropped to her knees, swore ripely, and emptied her stomach.